Lionheart
by Calla Mae
Summary: What would happen if Gandalf requested a woman join them on the quest, a woman the company only knew as a lion? How long would it take for them to trust their feline ally, and would that trust break when they discover she is a skin changer once a captive of Azog? And how well does she know Beorn, and how far is he willing to go to keep her safe? Beorn/OC
1. you could say its my instict

"I am looking for someone to share in an adventure."

Bilbo's jaw slackened in shock as he stared up at the man. "An adventure?" he breathed, not knowing what to do with himself. "I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures," he said rising to his feet. "Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things," he said bending over his fence to check the mail, wanting the man to go away. "Make you late for dinner," he said sticking his pipe in his mouth to look the letters over. It was a few moments of pretending to look at his mail and find it very important before he realized when he had leaned over his fence he had seen something. "Is that a lion?" he asked stepping back, their presence entirely unheard of so far west.

Gandalf looked down at his feline companion amusedly. "Why yes, her name is Dolraw I have requested her aid."

Bilbo sputtered as his eyes met strange blue ones much too knowing to be a mere lion. You are going on an adventure with a lion, is what he wanted to ask though he found himself afraid of offending her. "Well," he said wishing to be away and in his home, "good morning."

"To think I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took's son, as if I was selling buttons at the door."

Bilbo turned to the wizard startled at him knowing his mother's name. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" he asked, for he would have remembered an old man who traveled with a lion; a lion who sat quietly watching the hobbit curiously as they continued speaking, her tail or ears flicking occasionally as she listened to their words as though she understood.

Gandalf peeked into Bilbo's window, very much disappointed with the hobbit, before turning to his companion. "He will come around," he assured her as they began walking back down the path; earning themselves the same shocked glances as when they'd first arrived. "It is the others we should worry about," he continued, hearing her growl unhappily. "You do not have to dislike dwarves simply because he does," he reminded her, meeting her sharp eyes with his own stare.

He was right to worry, it was not often a lion was spotted and even rarer the person lived; the dwarves would not take kindly to her, though Gandalf hoped they would be of the same mind as Bilbo in not wishing to offend.

…

She was forced to follow silently behind Gandalf's small band of dwarves as they returned to the hobbit's house, creeping in the shadows. While the dwarves entered the home and commenced their feasting she laid in the grass beneath the stars listening as they laughed and belched and sang, all around behaving like terrible guests.

Her ear twitched at the sound of large heavy footsteps and she looked up to see the last dwarf finally arriving, paying the lion in the shadow no mind as he passed by her unknowingly. It was well into the night when she was finally called in, Gandalf finding the best moment he was likely to ever have to introduce her.

"There is something we must discuss," Gandalf told Thorin once the dwarves had settled, Bilbo having told him thrice he would not be joining the quest.

The dwarf king stared up at the wizard suspiciously. "And what is that?"

Gandalf sighed knowing there was no way to speak of her that would lessen their shock. "I require a companion," he said at last. "No responsibility will you bear, nor is a share of the treasure expected," he explained quickly upon seeing the refusal bright in Thorin's eye.

Though the wizard's words calmed him if only slightly, he was very curious who this person was offering aid without a payment. "How able to fight is your companion?" he asked, the word companion rather than friend or comrade striking Thorin as odd.

"Very much so," Gandalf answered. "Though it is only for a leg of the journey, unless requested otherwise. The only reason she is so far from her home is because I asked."

Thorin did not catch the first time Gandalf spoke of it being a woman, though the second he heard and refusal was on his tongue before the wizard had finished. "I will allow no woman in my Company," Thorin told him.

"Nor would I expect you to," Gandalf assured him quickly, watching confusion settle on his features. He turned to the nearest dwarf: "she is waiting outside, perhaps now would be the time to introduce her."

Rather put off and confused Balin did as the wizard asked, peeking his head out of the door – catching the glint of eyes in the darkness. "By my beard," he muttered when she stepped into the light.

A stillness settled over Bag End as she stepped inside and walked slowly to where the wizard sat. She was beautiful in the most terrible of ways; fur as yellow as gold, a long lean body outsizing the height of a dwarf should she stand, a slender face. Yet she held the menace of a very dangerous animal, her claws clicking on the wood as she walked, her fangs just barely concealed by her lips, the thin scars running along her back.

Gandalf ran a hand over her head fondly when she sat beside him, hoping to prove she would offer them no harm. Though a look to Thorin's still surprised face and Gandalf knew their trust would not be easily won.

* * *

_The sound of a roar came as a surprise to him as he sat up in his cage straining to listen; almost a year he had been there, caged and shackled with a few of his kin at the mercy of Azog the Defiler and his orcs. His kind had not been the only skin changers to inhabit the mountains, a clan of lions had also dwelled near their territory; scarcely seen save a flash of fur, they were quick and stealthy, unrivaled hunters. Though he realized now they had been hunted, and he wondered how many the orcs had killed. _

_Several times he came to hear the lion, a roar of anger or fear, a hiss, a whimper; yet he never saw the poor creature. Not for many months, and it was not the lion he saw first but its human skin. A flurry of cries and shrieks reached his cage and he looked out to see a figure running for the stairs, her skin tan when the light finally touched her, her hair as gold as her fur. So close was she to freedom, another case of stairs and she would be at the entrance, she could smell it;_ he_ could smell it. But an orc lept in front of her forcing her to back against his cage as the orcs racing after her cornered her. _

_He watched the orc step closer, a hungry look in its eye as it glanced over her bare flesh, not watching her eyes or her face. He knew it would happen before she moved, and he smiled at the shrieking of the orc when she changed skin and tore into him. With a snarl she turned to the many others behind her, backing herself up the stairs as they inched forward with weapons raised. _

_All fight left her at the sound of Azog's voice and she turned cowering before him as he descended the steps to her. Casting a passing glance at the now dead orc he kicked it over the side, staring down at the lion – her ears flattened and her belly pressed to the ground, but there was a tremor in her tail as it flicked ever so slightly, a will to fight. _

_He watched Azog grab the scruff of her neck before carrying her back to her own cage, waiting for the sounds of the whip though it never came. From that alone he knew the truth; she was not a play thing for them all, not unless Azog wished to share – she was his alone. _

_It did not stop the others from trying when Azog left, which only resulted in wounded or dead orcs before Azog or another more loyal orc would intervene. It was on a day when Azog had gone hunting that he saw her again, only this time in her lion skin. He'd heard her roar, heard the shrieking of an orc whose end had come from her teeth; he knew what would happen, and had he not been chained in his cage he would have helped her, felt a duty to help for there were only three of them left alive. _

_And so when she was once more at his cage with only a flight of stairs left to freedom, and she was once more cornered by many orcs with Azog too far away to stop them; he decided to intervene. "I do not think Azog would take kindly to knowing you played with his pet," he said knowing not many of them understood him, though it only took one orc and the reminder of Azog before their resolve fled them. _

_She growled deep in her throat when an orc moved near, baring her teeth as she hissed. If the only way for her to go was not in the bear's cage she would have tried for escape as she had once before; only there were teams of orcs on either side of her, all glaring maliciously down at her as she crouched low against the steel bars. _

_He watched an orc reach for his lock, seeing her crouched low staring up at it ready to lunge for its throat. The door creaked open before she was kicked inside, and he wrapped her smaller body in his arms feeling her fur shrink into warm skin as she sat shivering against him. His fingers brushed against the few scars she had on her back, feeling from how few there were that was not the torture Azog most enjoyed giving her. She was still so young, so small in his large arms. "What is your name, little lion?" he asked gently. _

_As viscous and strong as she had looked, in all truth she'd been terrified; one orc she could bear, even if it were as Azog's plaything – but she could not take them all. "Dolraw," she answered as she sought out what little comfort he could offer when he was no better off than she. "What is yours?"_

_So long had it been since his name had been said he hesitated before answer, having to force the word to mind. "Beorn," was his answer._

* * *

**_So this is an idea I've had since I saw the new movie, and while I don't love the movie Beorn as much as book Beorn - I do really like him. And I don't think Beorn gets as much love as he deserves, and since he had a pretty crappy life in the movie I have decided to make my OC Dolraw (which translates as Mountain Lion) and give him something good. I hope you guys will enjoy this story and please let me know if anything isn't quite working. Thank you very much for reading._**


	2. yes I still have one

_He woke to the feel of a rough tongue against his matted hair, an act too kind for such a dark place. He had not been touched in such a way for a year and it nearly made him ache as she continued cleaning him. In another time he may have smiled, but it had been some time since his mouth had curled in such a manner, and many days he thought it never would again. Instead he ran a hand over her head gently, her fur soft on his skin as she nuzzled her head beneath his chin before settling restless beside him as she purred softly. "Do you not like your human skin?" he asked watching her head turn to look at him, waiting as she shifted skins to answer. _

_The stone was cool beneath her belly as she lay facing him, finding he offered no threat. "They are rather fond of this skin, a lion is less," she paused as she thought of an adequate word, "appetizing." She stared at his hand yearning for a kind touch, a soft word of love, she yearned for her family as he did. "The same cannot be said of Azog, he likes both my skins." _

_He heard the bitterness laced heavily in her voice knowing of course Azog would. "How very fortunate for you," he said and she smiled faintly before it drifted away. "Which does he like more?" he asked, the same desire within him for a moment of warmth amidst the dark cold of the cage; and he hesitantly brushed his hand against her own. _

_Less shy than he, she wound her fingers around his binding them together. "A woman satisfies his need, a lion his amusement," she answered. "He rather enjoys watching me fight, wargs orcs it matters little to him." She did not speak of the other skin changers Azog had placed before her, ones she knew were his kin – though he must know, for often Azog set the bears on each other allowing the victor to live if they fought well enough. It was why Beorn was alive, he was a well endowed fighter; so she thought he must know. _

"_You fight well," he remarked, having seen it for himself; her sharp claws, her viscous teeth. _

_She almost smiled, priding herself on how well of a hunter she had been before enslaved. "I had many brothers, I learned quickly," she said, the reason for her sorrow. "What of your family?" she asked, knowing there were little left of his kind and only one of her own. _

_His answer was to release her hand and roll away from her, unwilling to speak of the loss he had been given. _

"_Did you love her greatly?" she asked, hearing what he was not saying. _

_With a sigh he turned to her, staring at her youthful face as she gazed back. "Were you wed?" he asked instead, knowing the answer to her question lay in her own. _

_The answer, though it was simple, was hardly simple at all. "I was supposed to be." _

_He nodded understanding, realizing if the orcs had not come she would have been wed with a litter on the way; an entire life she should have lived filled with love and happiness, not this. _

_He watched her tense as skin turned to fur and she crouched low growling at the door to his cage as a few orcs stood with a crude leash and the whip Azog often used, hoping to return her to her cage. _

_Though the orcs tittered in fear when Beorn shifted his own skin and stood over Dolraw engulfing her beneath him as he roared, rattling the bars to the cage with its might. They quickly scurried away upon realizing the bear would not relinquish the lion, and he could not be controlled but by Azog alone. _

_She looked up at Beorn from beneath his belly, finding him even larger and more magnificent than she'd first thought him to be. With his great head he nuzzled her gently, feeling the vibrations of her deep purr as much as he heard it as they settled once more._

* * *

"And what when she finds herself hungry and looks to our ponies?" Thorin asked, standing at the stables in Bree voicing yet another refusal on why it was simply impractical for her to join them.

Gandalf cast his eyes to the sky, having already heard several reasons they could not journey with a lion from Thorin and the others – "What will she eat," Balin had asked. "Will she eats us?" asked Ori next, them being the obvious answer. "Perhaps she attracts other beasts?" And so on and so forth until Gandalf simply could not bear it any longer.

"She ventures much the same path we do, would you rather her go as a friend or wild animal prone to feast on ill mannered dwarves?" he demanded, earning himself a dark look from Thorin and the reluctant agreement from the others.

Though the matter was truly decided when they were given their ponies, for they had all waited for them to whinny and buck at the sight of her. Unknown to the dwarves she offered no threat, and the ponies they paid for could smell a scent much like their own on her fur – and they sniffed her curiously having never come across a lion.

As she passed them she cast Thorin a dark look, and he stared after her startled at seeing such human contempt in her eyes. "Where did you come across this lion?" he asked Gandalf, who had watched her amusedly.

"Hunting," he answered simply as he spurred his horse after Thorin's.

He kept his eyes trained on the glinting gold of her fur as she trotted along ahead of them, saving him from having to ensure she would keep pace. Though she would be a great ally should they come across danger it did little to settle any of them, and they whispered amongst one another about how many dwarves they believed her to have killed and if she even liked the taste of dwarf. But they were quieted once they caught her eye, seeing the humanlike irritation as she snarled or growled lowly at them.

She continued leading them onward, her ears flicking as she listened hard to what was around them – knowing once this party was discovered it was only a matter of time before Azog would find them.

Thorin brought his pony up short when she stopped with her head cocked to listen, waiting for what she had heard.

"Wait!" They all turned at the shout to find Bilbo running after them with the contract waving in his hand. "I signed it," he said breathlessly, handing the contract to Balin happily.

Thorin turned away from the hobbit displeased to see the lion was still there, and he watched as she paced restlessly while Balin looked over the contract; and he wondered if perhaps she was returning home, and if she had a family of any sort waiting for her. A strange thought he quickly shook himself of, for what sort of family did he expect an animal to have.

"Everything seems to be in order," Balin proclaimed pleased, having wagered a bet the hobbit would be joining them. "Welcome Master Baggins to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

They were words good enough for Dolraw to continue on, knowing the others would follow behind eventually. Even after Bilbo attempted to turn around to fetch his handkerchief, she still did not stop. Thorin had been right, she was returning home and she wished to do so as quickly as the dwarves were able - regretting having left at all; it had been years since she had been from Beorn's side, and she greatly wished to be once more without too much trouble from Thorin and his Company.

* * *

**_Thank you all so much for the favorites and the follows and the reviews, they really do mean a lot to me. I hope it's coming across in my writing that the reason Beorn and Dolraw were drawn to each other is because it's been so long since they've been treated kindly, I know what I want in my head but I'm not quite sure how it's coming out in words. Thank you all again for reading._**


	3. there's no time to second guess it

Their lion companion was watched closely when night fell, suspiciously as she went to where the ponies were kept – though she did little more than sniff curiously around them, tilting her head to the side with an ear cocked as she listened. She seemed hardly bothered at all when a pony would come and sniff at her, butting their head against her in a manner of friendliness.

"Do you think she is just seeing to them?" Ori asked, though he was ever the more timid one of the Company, for some time he had stopped fearing she would harm them all.

His brother was not of the same mind. "Don't be a fool," Dori told him sternly. "The moment we left her with them I guarantee you we would be one pony short." A strange whimper sounded in his throat when he turned to look at her over his shoulder to find her inches from his face. He stared wide eyed as she gave him a cool look before walking slowly away, laying herself beside Gandalf who patted her head sympathetically.

"They should come round soon," he assured, hearing her grumble of disbelief as she ate the stew he saved for her.

Dwalin stood beside his king glaring at their newest member, thinking the moment she offered threat to a single one of them – pony included – he would have her pelt to wear around his shoulders.

"Watch her closely," Thorin bid him. "I won't have her dragging one of us off in the middle of the night." He stared hard at her, meeting her burning eyes with his own – finding it so very strange he could read their depths as though she were as human as her eyes appeared.

Dwalin nodded his agreement, sitting against a tree with his ax in hand as he took first watch; doing as he was ordered in not letting her out of his sight. Several times his hand had tightened around the hilt of his weapon, watching her head rise as she listened to something in the distance. He would be left on edge for long moments after she settled once more.

"I assume she has not eaten any of the others," Balin said when Dwalin woke him.

He gave his brother a hard look. "Do not act as though you trust her anymore than I."

Balin looked to the lion seeing her ears were not twitching. "And do not behave as though that is an ordinary lion," he told Dwalin harshly. "She understands the words we say and she responds to them in kind. Would you like to be the one who hurts her feelings because I for one, brother, would not."

Though Dwalin wished to disagree with his brother saying it did not matter what they said for she was no more than an animal, not even he believed that. Her eyes gave her away, showing every thought that registered in her mind proving her intelligence was more than an average beast. And so he growled a sigh before laying himself down, his eyes boring into her back before he fell into slumber.

It was the same the next night and then the one after that, she circled the camp they made ending with the ponies before stretching herself out beside the wizard; her tail flicking restlessly every so often.

Though when Thorin was startled awake by the sound of distant shrieking he looked first to the lion to find her gone from Gandalf's side. He stood prepared to ask the wizard where his companion had gone, before he noticed her lean body pacing back and forth in front of their camp, growling softly at what was in the distance. He watched her walk near to where he had been sleeping before turning and pacing near the ponies, she did this over and again as she kept guard of them.

"They strike, in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood."

He turned sharply at the sound of his nephew's voice, seeing their burglar pale and fearful. "You think that's funny?" he demanded, knowing they were close from Dolraw's behavior; nearly feeling how tense her shoulders were as she continued to growl into the night.

She could smell them they were so near, hardly half a league away – much closer than they should have been, either a coincidence or there was an orc pack looking for them. It made little difference, soon they would catch the scent of the dwarves or least that they had made camp in this spot; and then they would track the company, sending word to Azog when they discovered Thorin Oakenshield was the leader.

It was a long while before she ceased her pacing, stilling at a hesitant hand on her back. Her surprise was nearly palpable as she looked up at Thorin, so much so she sat and waited for what he wanted.

"Go to sleep, I'll keep watch," he said, feeling rather silly for giving a lion an order though he knew they would be kept restless and worried by her continuous pacing to and fro. Though she did as was told, laying herself beside the hobbit though her head often rose to sniff at the air.

Bilbo looked at her with wide eyes, having not thought she would chose him to sleep beside – his little heart beating fast as he thought of what he should do. "Thank you," he told her softly, finding he felt a small bit of comfort at having her warmth so near.

Thorin sat once more against a rock though this time he did not rest, he stared into the night thinking of Azog and orcs and the battle, and everything that had been lost. Several times he saw out of the corner of his eye her head raise, either catching a scent or a sound, though she rested her head on her paws once more. And not a wink did she sleep, continuously keeping watch over them through the night – forcing the dwarf king to wonder if perhaps he had misjudged her, a thought he may have shaken himself of if he had not stood to wake the others to find Bilbo sleeping with an arm around her and his face buried in her fur.

He woke to a rough tongue on his cheek and he blinked once before sitting up, an apology on his tongue. Though she stood and stretched, arching her back at an impossible angle, before moving to stand beside Gandalf. Bilbo took Balin's hand and climbed to his feet. "Seems she's taken a liking to you," he told the hobbit with a kind smile. "I would consider you a very lucky lad."

"Why is that?" Bilbo asked, itching his nose still feeling fur in it.

Balin arched a brow. "Would you want her as an enemy?" he asked, considering themselves very lucky Gandalf had crossed her path; with the top of her head reaching Bilbo's chest he had no doubt she would kill most of them before they could stop her.

* * *

_Beorn sat against the cold stone with Dolraw half over his lap as she lay purring as he stroked her head, occasionally nipping at his fingers before licking them and settling once more with her tail flicking. He knew she was restless, that she wanted freedom as much as she simply wanted to run – it was simply in her nature, as it was in his own. It was cruelty to cage an animal, refusing to allow them space to roam – even for a skin changer it was a fate worse than death. _

_Though she sat up suddenly and moved to the door of his cage, breathing in something before rushing back to him. "He's returned," she said shifting skins, sitting on her knees staring down at him. "I don't know if I'll see you again." _

"_I will not let him take you," he assured her, hearing the panic in her voice. Nor would he, he would refuse entrance into the cage – killing all who tried. _

_But she shook her head. "That is exactly what you cannot do," she told him confusing him. "I am nothing to you and you are nothing to me, do not even look at me."_

"_Dol,"_

"_No," she interrupted, looking over her shoulder worriedly before turning back to him. "I am his and he does not share. The moment he discovers anything resembling fondness and his wrath will be upon you. You mustn't let him see anything. And I am begging you, please, stop fighting him." _

_He moved away from her shaking his head, though her hands clenching his arms stilled him and he waited. _

"_Let him believe he has broken you, you only have to make him believe it," she said seeing his refusal, casting another glance behind her as she listened. "When he has stopped fearing you then we will make to escape, but he cannot be here when we do. If it were only him then perhaps you could match him, but their numbers are too great and only growing. You and I could not take him with them all upon us, it must be when he is away."_

"_How will we make this plan if I do not see you?" he asked, trying to find some way to keep her from leaving – knowing what would happen to her if she did and finding he could not allow it. _

_She looked at him helplessly knowing he was right. "I don't know," she admitted, unable to accept hopelessness when she had finally found hope in him. "But please, Beorn," she said taking his face in her hands, "please just live." _

_He stared at her pleading face, seeing the worry and fear in her dampening eyes as she awaited his answer. For several months death had seemed a mercy, one he only hoped he would be granted quickly; her presence had ruined that. Knowing she was there and alive, having laid beside her listening to her breathing, speaking to her of her past and his own – she had given him a strength he had not had since his family had been killed, she had given him something to live for. "You have my word little lion, I will live for you," he swore to her, watching the relief settle on her face as she released the breath she had been holding. _

_At the sound of heavy footsteps she shifted skins and sat beside the door, looking to Beorn to see he'd turned so his back was to her; glad he was listening when Azog stood before her looking down at her with hard eyes. He jerked the door open watching her quickly slide out before standing at his side, and he looked at the last bear seeing his back to them – wishing he had been watching her so he would have reason to chain him up and make him scream. _

_His lion woman let him lead her back to her own cage, allowing him to take her before he left to retrieve the bear. _

_She sat with tears streaming down her face as she listened to the strokes of the whip, hearing Beorn grunt with every lash until he could not keep himself from crying out; though she did not hear him shift skins and aim to kill Azog as he should have done, as she had begged him not to. _

_Though she quickly dried her eyes when the yelling stopped, watching as Azog came to her spattered in blood, letting him force her to her knees and take her again. She did not know when, she did not know how long it would take – but she and Beorn would be rid of this place. She swore it to herself as she bounced with Azog's cruel rhythm, and she swore it to Beorn who lay on his stomach bleeding and in pain as he thought of her – speaking her name as a prayer, offering it up to the gods he had stopped believing in hoping they might take pity and grant him live for her._

* * *

**_Ali: thank you, I'm so glad you're liking it. And that you're liking the past, because I'm sort of enjoying it. I will admit that it is very dark at the moment, and will get a little darker before it gets better - but it will get happier, I cannot stress that enough, especially with how I ended this chapter._**


	4. yes there are things

**_Ali: I think this chapter might be the darkest in terms of context, which I'm glad to know you can handle it :)_**

**_Gardeniax: thank you so much for your kind words, your review really meant a lot to me. I'm so glad to know you enjoy my stories, and that you're liking this one as well - enough to leave a review. Thank you again, so so much._**

* * *

_It was many weeks when she saw Beorn again, the passing of a century would have felt no different to her for she had placed every bit of hope she could muster in his being alive. Days she had lain beside him in that cage, hours they had done nothing more than breathe softly together and others they had spoken quietly – there was still so much she did not know of him, so much she craved to ask. Though above all she longed for his skin, his warm flesh offering only the most timid kindness as he reached for her, as he touched her face. And there were some days she wondered if she had made him up inside her mind, longing for the hope she had thought she lost – those days tormented her greatly._

_It had come as a surprise, she sat on her knees with Azog at her back taking her like a dog – she looked up at the sound of chains wondering if they were for her until she saw the orcs dragging them and Beorn bound behind them. She saw the widening of his eyes, as slight as it was, saw the fire of rage burning in them at bearing witness to the torture Azog so greatly enjoyed giving her. Even submissive beneath him Azog could feel the strain in her muscles, could see the fury deep in her eyes – his lion had fight in her, it was one of the few reasons he had kept her for himself, and even more why he still allowed her to breathe. _

_If not for her words weeks previous Beorn would have lunged for Azog's throat, would have held his flesh between his teeth and watched the life drain out of it – before the others killed him of course. It was not his life that kept him still, it was hers; for the moment Azog died she would be free to them once more, and the horrors they would do to her. And so he stood silently as Azog finished himself, forcing his eyes to the wall wondering why he was bound hands and neck. Though it was quickly apparent what Azog wanted of him when the pale orc stood, his colorless eyes daring threateningly as the orcs unchained him. He felt her shiver as he dropped to his knees behind her, knowing his flesh was not the flesh she was accustomed, knowing gentleness was entirely foreign to her._

…

Dolraw stood sniffing the air as Gandalf and Thorin discussed the best thing to do for the night. "I think it would be wiser to move on, we could make to the hidden valley," Gandalf suggested, knowing they were in need of aid. Dolraw knew why he urged Thorin to place of the elves, knew that the map could not be read but by the lord there – yet she held reservations for the elves, as they did for her kind.

"I told you already, I will not go near that place," Thorin said, disgust sounding in his voice.

She moved between the two closer to the line of trees, smelling something particularly foul in the air – the sound of birds no longer singing standing the hair on her neck on end. They should not remain in this place, something else had claimed occupance and she knew the dwarves would only find themselves in trouble.

"Gandalf, where are you going?" she heard Bilbo ask faintly from behind her, though her eyes were on the trees as she slunk forward.

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense," Gandalf yelled back, halting her steps as she turned to the wizard to see him leaving.

Bilbo looked after him worriedly, not wishing for him to leave. "And who's that?"

"Myself Master Baggins!" Gandalf yelled crossly. "I've had enough of dwarves for one day. Dolraw!"

Thorin looked down at the lion to see her large startled eyes, a look so human he could almost see the face she would wear if she were a woman. She glanced up at him briefly, waiting for him to nod, before following after Gandalf. The Company watched their lion go, seeing the setting sun glinting off her fur like molten gold, finding they did not feel quite as safe as they had now that she was gone.

"We cannot leave them," she said when they were far enough away.

He turned to her with a sigh draping his cloak over her bare shoulders before continuing on. "They should be alright til morn, I however will find the path Thorin is too stubborn to take. It is your choice whether you follow or not."

She looked after him with hard eyes, both very aware he had called for her specifically. "I have half a mind to leave you all now and return home, and refuse you entry when you come knocking," she growled thrusting his cloak into his arms. "Pray tell me how you plan to see your hidden path in the dark?" And with that she was a lion once more, a very irritable lion but a helpful one in the least.

"If I did not know any better I would say you wish Thorin to succeed," he dared say, an amused smile on his face as he followed after. His only answer was a low growl and a swish of her tail as she continued on – and together they searched for the hidden tunnel that would lead them to Rivendell, against the order of Thorin himself.

"We should go back to them now, the place is a short distance north between a cleft in the rocks," she said hours after they had begun, having run quickly through the field to find it now that dawn was only a bare few hours away – a sick feeling in her belly that all was not well. She had not liked the grove they rested in, something was there, something large and smelly and there were only so many creatures that fit that mold, none of which would show the dwarves any hospitality.

Gandalf gave a short nod before they began the long trek back, offering her once more his cloak as she kept pace on two legs with him.

…

_For weeks more Beorn was taken out of his cage for the sole purpose of Azog's amusement at seeing a lion mate with a bear – and he ordered them in every way; a lion and a bear, a bear and a woman, a man and a lion, a man and a woman. And each time Beorn was forced to watch as Azog took her himself, and he offered her no comfort not caring for her pain. It was her hard eyes and a shake of her head that kept him from lunging for the pale orc, having been forced to lay claim to her and now she was his. Azog either did not know the laws of nature or did not care, but Beorn had lain with Dolraw, whether or not by force, they were bound in a way only the marriage of two animals could be – and it set his teeth on edge that he could do nothing for her. _

_And so on one day when his cage was opened he looked out expecting to see the chains he was normally bound with, instead he saw Azog carrying Dolraw by the scruff of her neck. He did not reach for her when she was thrown inside, he did not even look at her as she had requested; but he could feel Azog's eyes watching him closely, waiting for him to show even the slightest of interest in the lion now in his cage. Beorn knew what would happen if he did, his marred back was proof of just how unwilling Azog was to share his pet – and so he turned on his side with his back to them all until the sound of footsteps ebbed away. _

_Even then he did not move, he did not know if she still wished for his presence or if he revolted her – he would not blame her if she did, she had not asked for him to take her; she had been as unwilling as he. Though the moment he felt her fingers upon the scars on his back he turned and took her in his arms, holding her as he had longed to from the moment she first left. "We leave now," he said unable to bear being forced to lay with her in front of them all, and then to watch as Azog took her without mercy. _

"_We cannot," she said softly. "He expects it, and we will be watched. It cannot be now." _

_He wanted to refuse her, to ensure her they could leave and be done with this accursed place – but he could hear in the faintness of her tired voice that it would not be possible. She had seen the orcs at the door, she knew Azog was tempting them – that he was not so far away and would return soon – the moment they tried to escape they would both be killed, and it took her a long while before she could remember why dying was not so lovely a thought as it appeared. _

"_What will you do?" she asked him suddenly, wishing for kinder thoughts. "When we leave, where will you go?" _

_It was many moments before he answered, wishing to return home though that was a fool's dream. "I don't know," he said finally, having given up the thought until he'd seen her. _

_She knew the strange feeling he felt as he tried to imagine a life out of this cage, of walking in the sun; for some time she had been unable to picture anything in her mind, but she knew what she wanted now. "I would like a house," she told him softly laying her head once more on his chest. "An actual house with walls and windows and rooms, and I can come and go as I please. And a garden," she said, having come to this thought more often than the others. "I want a garden full of flowers that went on and on and could not be tamed." _

"_And animals?" he asked, finding that her dream warmed him as he too thought of this house she imagined. _

_Once more she sat up and looked down at him, tenderness filling her eyes. "What else do you want?" she asked, seeing a light in his eyes that had not been there before – a light that came with feeling hope. _

_He gazed up at her sweet face, smoothing back her mess of blond curls that would shame any lion's mane. "I would have you, if you wished for it," he chanced say, knowing she very well may refuse him. Though he saw her mouth twitch as she looked away, seeing a flash of a smile before her head was once again on his chest; her cheeks flushed. _

"_We should have bees for the garden," she said. _

_His own mouth twitched as though to smile, hearing in her words she wished to stay with him. "We will have ponies," he said, the thought coming to him suddenly. And the more he thought of the sweet creatures the easier he could imagine them in this house. _

"_Ponies?" she asked sitting up to look at him again, wondering where that thought had come from him. He looked up at her and nodded, forcing another smile to her lips – something she had not done in a year, and so familiar it was to smile with him. "If you find them we can have them," she agreed, "but I'm not helping you look." _

_With a strange tightness in his chest he held her face in his hand, imagining so clearly the life they would live – the happiness they would have for already her words were that of a wife; a life he had not been given the time to live with the woman he had loved before her. "I will build this house," he said so softly it was but a breath. _

_She brought her hand to his wrist knowing what it was he thought, knowing of whom was haunting his mind – and knowing he was letting it go so that he may live. "The next time he is gone," she swore, knowing when Azog returned to find them having not attempted escape he would see she would not go against him and they would not be watched so closely. "That is when we will escape." _


	5. I'm still so afraid of

**_Ali: I can't wait til they get to Beorn's house either, which I'm hoping is not too long. And the company will see that she is also a woman - and what a shock it will be; however, I won't tell you when that will be. :)_**

* * *

_Azog had been gone no more than the rising and setting of two suns, a great deal shorter than his normal weeks. And once again Dolraw was sitting by the door of the cage when he reached it, the bear still laying with his back to them both; as she had guessed he would, he smiled horridly at seeing the lion truly was his. _

_Beorn lay on his side baring his teeth at the sound of Azog taking her behind him, wishing for nothing more than to kill the pale orc – to rip his throat out with his teeth and watch him bleed. But he did nothing more than stay where he was listening to the sound of flesh slapping together, hearing Azog's grunt before it was quiet once more in his cage. Though he knew what he would see when he turned he still hoped that by chance she would be there, but as he'd known she was gone – the scruff of her neck in Azog's hand as he carried her back to her cage. _

_He did not see her for several days, though he had heard the sound of her fighting – her roar more fierce than he had thought it could sound, heard loud over the cry of a yelping warg. The moment he was taken from his cage he knew something was something new was happening, he was not chained as heavily and the orcs tittered with glee more than they had before – with a sick twist in his stomach he let himself be led to a place he had not seen in months. The place where he had been forced to fight his own kin to the death, the place he now stood as the orcs unchained him, staring at Dolraw as she stood beside Azog._

_There was wariness in her eyes, a great unhappiness and quite a lot of guilt; he knew she blamed herself for this, for Azog's possessive obsession of her – which had done nothing more than cause Beorn himself pain. No matter how many times he had assured her it was no fault of hers she continued to believe it was. Azog barked an order in black speech, though they both knew the meaning of one word and he followed her suit and shifted skins. _

…

The next the Company saw their lion was in the troll cave, her belly to the floor as she crept along sniffing warily about looking for any sign of life before it discovered them. They were pleased to see her, finding that they did not look over their shoulders nearly so often with her guarding their backs. Though there was nothing to find, only a stench so great it could nearly be seen in the air, and a strange selection of treasures from those who had not lived.

When she had finished investigating further she came back, not quite so low to the ground, and stood beside Gandalf. "If there is one thing Dolraw and yourself have in common, it is your distaste for elves," Gandalf muttered to Thorin.

Thorin looked down at the lion, almost smiling at the annoyance in her eye as she trotted out of the cave. He joined her shortly, seeing she was standing away from Gandalf as she faced the trees – though it was several moments of watching her before he realized the twitch of her ears and the flick of her tail. "Something's coming."

…

_At first glance it was very apparent who would when the fight, Beorn was nearly twice the size of Dolraw as a bear with a jaw large enough to crush her head. Though he would not fight her, not the cracking of a whip at his back nor her deep growl as she circled him would make him do anything more than stare at her. He roared at the feel of the whip, having been waiting for it, though he was stopped from attacking Azog by a sharp pain in his leg and he turned growling to find Dolraw snarling behind him. _

_So shocked was he, he did not move when she lunged again; he growled confused and stepped back away from her, her claws raking across his back before she darted away from him. And even then he did not fight her. He could not understand what she was doing, if she would truly kill him to survive – it was something he could not fathom for he had placed too much of his own well being in her. Though he saw something in her eye, something behind the rage – before he could recognize it she lunged again, her claws tearing at his chest. He roared enraged as she slunk back, hissing threateningly at him, and he raised a large paw before the whip once more cut into his back. _

_Azog moved around him and grabbed the scruff of her neck before carrying her away, and Beorn whirled on the orcs around him – killing many of them before he was tied down and whipped relentlessly. Though an order from Azog stilled their straps and he lay panting and bleeding as he awaited what would come next. _

_It took several orcs to carry him, even as a man, back to his cage and they threw him in before leaving him still bound. He did not have the strength to shift skins and break the rope, and so he stayed on his side more wounded by her betrayal than the marks on his back. _

…

Dolraw could have outrun them all, leaving them to whatever danger was on its way – and all of the dwarves were very aware that she was showing them fondness for remaining at their side as they were brought up short by a large hill and stood facing whatever raced toward them.

"Thieves! Fire! Murder!"

Thorin looked down at her soft growl, watching as she rolled her eyes before sitting unhappily – realizing she knew the strange man.

"Radagast the brown, what on earth are you doing here?" Gandalf asked as displeased for the unwarranted fright as Dolraw had been.

She stood at Thorin's side when the wizards moved away to speak in private, knowing the strange wizard had been running from something frightening. Thorin glanced down at her, wondering how this wizard knew her as well – unknown to him Radagast had visited for a short while at her home. Though he saw her ears twitch once more as she cocked her head, staring intently at the hill – she could hear a soft movement, the brushing of a foot on the ground, a large body sneaking very quietly around them. The answer came quite suddenly at the sound of a distant howl, and she knew immediately there was a warg on the other side of the hill.

"Was that a wolf?" Bilbo asked frightened. "Are there wolves out there?"

"Wolves," Bofur said, his voice trembling as he clutched his weapon to his chest, "that was not a wolf."

Thorin looked around them quickly before back at Dolraw, seeing her nearly black eyes glaring at the top of the hill as she crouched low growling. He turned to see a large black warg charge down the hill, Dolraw's actions having given him enough time to prepare for an attack, and she watched him bring his sword down on the beast killing it quickly.

"Kili," Thorin yelled, once more alerted by the lion to a warg at his back.

She watched then as the warg fell from an arrow to the leg and then as Dwalin brought his large hammer down on its head; she had to admit, they were greatly effective in battle.

"Warg scouts, which means an orc pack is not far behind."

Dolraw was already over the hill when Thorin spoke, knowing these orcs were sent by Azog – which meant if even one of them saw her, he would know she was no longer with her bear.

…

_It was several days, his wounds half healed and his ties broken on the ground, when his cage was opened again. He looked up darkly as Azog dropped his lion and shut her in, knowing one of them would be dead when he returned in many days time – and with any luck it would be the bear and not her. _

_He continued to watch her unhappily, neither of them speaking when she shifted skins and was a woman once more – he would give her nothing, she had taken everything from him and had attacked him at Azog's leisure. _

"_Are you alright?" she asked softly. _

_He gave a short bitter laugh. "Your claws are very sharp," was his only answer. He watched her turn away from him, not knowing for what reason she asked for he still did not know her intention. "Dolraw," he said after several minutes, reaching as far as the chain on his wrist would allow and he could just barely reach her. All the answer he needed was shining in her eyes when she turned to him. _

"_I'm sorry," she whispered, tears filling her eyes as she looked at the wound she had left on his chest. "I'm so sorry." _

_With a sharp pull he got himself close enough to her and pulled her to him, feeling her arms wind around his waist as she leaned against him. He realized then the look he had seen in her eyes as she faced him snarling, it had been pain – a great weight lifted from him at the knowledge she had not betrayed him, and he held her to his chest as she traced the skin around the deep marks she'd placed on him. _

"_He knows," she told him. "His lion would not turn against him, but you are fond enough of me that you would not fight. He will kill you when he returns," she said taking her head from his chest to look up at him. _

_He nodded as he nuzzled his head against hers, feeling the breath leave her at his forgiveness, at his hands running down her back. _

_She stared up at him wonderingly as he laid her down and settled over her, seeing a look on his face that she never had before – there was a warmth in his eyes, burning her face as he stared down at her. "We leave now," she told him, knowing they would never get another chance. _

_He gave a small nod as he pulled her legs around him; he took her then, with no one's eyes to see but their own, took her as though he may never get the chance to again and he very well might not. He laid with her as he would have had they been wed, gently, pleasing her as she never had been before. _

…

The dwarves looked around them hopeless and desperate, no ponies to flee from the orcs who rode on their wargs – they would quickly be over taken.

"Where is Dolraw?" Dori asked, ever the more hesitant to trust though he had grown fond of having the lion around.

At that the dwarves looked for her golden fur, finding their situation all the more hopeless now that their best means of defense had left them. "She can't have left us," Bilbo said knowing she wouldn't have, or at least strongly hoping.

They turned toward the hill at the sound of a yelp before it was quiet once more, and they waited holding their weapons for what would come over the top – they nearly sighed in relief together at the sight of their lion companion, blood painting her lips as she stood once more at Gandalf's side waiting for their plan.

It was a terrible plan, by her standards; Radagast armed with a staff and his rabbits distracting the orcs while the company ran between the rocks trying to stay unseen. She slunk ahead of them, her ears flattened and her tail curled down between her legs, as she ran with her belly nearly touching the ground; not at all happy was she to play the mouse, and with such a noisy company no less. But with little else to do, and no Beorn at her side, she continued on the way she and Gandalf had travelled the night before, only a few more minutes of running before they would reach the tunnel – whether Thorin wished to see the elves or not, she would drag him by her teeth if it meant escaping.

She turned sharply at the sound of a terrible shrieking and yelping, seeing at the large rock behind her the dwarves standing with a warg and its rider beside them. If not for the quieting of feet she might have gone to them, but she stood listening as their foe began racing for them, the dwarves much too late in silencing the two at their feet.

It would have served the dwarves well to have the lion at their sid, at least attempting to fight the wargs and orcs as they came closer; but she was ahead of them sniffing with Gandalf running at her back, searching desperately for the cleft in the rocks she'd found hours before. Until finally, Dolraw's eyes watching the many wargs and riders surrounding them, Gandalf saw the place she had spoken of and brushed past her as he ran to it. She followed him, running down the slope that took them to the tunnel below and standing at the bottom sniffing curiously. "This way you fools," Gandalf called to the others, drawing them all to safety.

…

_Dolraw paced by the door of the cage as a lion, growling and snarling at the bear behind her. The orcs on the floor beneath the cage listened to the bear roar dangerously, remembering Azog's words to take her if they believed the bear would kill her – and he'd assured them they may do with her whatever they like if she showed such weakness. For a few minutes more they listened to the beasts scream at one another before finally the orcs gathered many others and chanced look in – she sat cornered at the door with the bear looming over her, his gaping jaws heaving a mighty roar. Though at the sight of the orcs he turned to a man once more, and three moved forward with a whip and a leash as they made to fetch the lion. She skulked out of the cage, her claws tearing into the flesh of the orc who made to grab her, nearly smiling as Beorn ripped the chain from the wall and charged out of his cage, erupting into a terribly magnificent bear._


	6. and my courage is roaring

**_Moriartayyy: thank you for your review. And she will soon, and a few brief flashes of skin before then to make the dwarves guess. _**

**_Kaia: thank you, I'm glad you think it's still good. And yeah, movie Beorn just doesn't have that wonderful magicky, enchanting feel to him as he did in the book. However, the more I write him, the more I enjoy movie Beorn._**

* * *

_Down the mountains they ran, the sounds of the orcs riding atop their wargs behind them urging the skin changers ever faster. They did not care for being careful, did not care if their paws ached from the jagged rocks and the relentless speed in which they ran – they would not stop, for stopping meant being captured. For Beorn it would mean death, though Azog would want his lion alive. _

_Bear and lion raced down the slope of the mountains and onto level ground, throwing themselves in the river and out across it – their hearts pounding furiously begging for rest. But they could not give it. On and on they went, their breathing ragged and their bodies burning in a terrible fire of exhaustion, not a thought at all to where they were going or what direction they took so long as it was to freedom. _

_It was not until they reached a thick line of trees, trees in which were bare and knotted together, that they finally stopped and shifted skins. Dolraw leaned wearily against a tree, the bark rough on the soft skin of her belly as Beorn pressed close against her back – gasping for air as they listened to the stillness in the wood. _

"_Where are we?" she asked him softly, looking around at the sick trees cast in a strange green hue as the sun tried to break through the mess of entangled branches above them. _

_But Beorn did not know, he had never travelled the lands beneath the mountains; he only knew there was something darker than the pit they fled from seeping into the wood. A darkness filled the air around them and crept forward, stepping lightly on the ground as they wound through the trees; stopping when they saw a terrible fortress crumbling with age and overgrown with vines. _

_His arms tightened around her and she pressed herself further against him at the feel of a terrible blackness echoing down from the stronghold. The closer they looked the more they noticed the shadows moving, as though a black being was snaking around the fortress. Beorn pulled her away from it and pulled her further into the lines of trees, hoping their run through the river had masked their scent enough Azog's warg would not take notice as they raced past. It was to this place the pale orc had continuously gone to, having allied himself with whatever lived there. Dolraw had been right in leaving then, for upon his return Azog had planned to move his orcs to Dol Guldur – Beorn would have been killed regardless, for a bear as large as he would have escaped easily had he been moved. But Dolraw, Azog would have brought her, would have given her up to the being that had cast the place into utter darkness._

"_What is that?" she asked him, her voice smaller than a whisper, still watching as the shadows moved further in the place – feeling something so dark and so alive it frightened her more than the thought of returning to Azog. She could feel it, feel its black malevolence, could feel it watching them. _

_Beorn grabbed her arm and pulled her back, not taking his eyes from the cruel place until the trees masked them from view. "I believe that was a necromancer," he answered. Keeping a hold of her arm he continued walking further and further away from that terrible place, stepping out of the wood and into the light of day where they both breathed the clean untainted air._

…

Dolraw stood on the ledge at the end of the tunnel amazed at the sight before her, wishing Beorn were there to see the splendor of the elven stronghold. Holding her nose to the breeze she found even the air smelled sweeter, and for the first time since Gandalf had asked her to leave her home she felt at peace.

"If we are to be successful this will need to be handed with tact, and respect, and no small degree of charm," Gandalf told Thorin as he stepped past him. "Which is why you will leave the talking to me."

Dolraw looked up at the wizard before following him, pausing briefly every so often as she sniffed the air.

"Dolraw," he said suddenly, remembering her wariness of the elves. "Not even the smallest of growls," he warned, casting her a long look before continuing.

The closer they came the lower she sank to the ground as she walked, her tail curled between her legs, her pupils slits scanning around them as they crossed the bridge. Gandalf looked at her sharply and she raised herself slightly, though the moment he turned away she continued slinking forward. Thorin brushed a hand over her head at seeing she was as uneasy as the rest of them, feeling her shoulder rub against his side briefly as she watched the two guards at the top of the steps before them. She stood behind Thorin and Dwalin, her head bent to look around them as one elf came down the stairs toward them.

"Mithrandir," he greeted turning the wizard's head with a smile as he greeted him as Lindir.

"I must speak with Lord Elrond," Gandalf bid him.

The elf, disapproving of the company the wizard brought with him, responded: "My lord Elrond is not here."

Gandalf looked at Lindir unhappy with the news. "Not here? Where is he?"

At that moment the sound of a horn blew as the riders returned home, and Gandalf gave Lindir a small smile before turning and catching Dolraw by the scruff of her neck – feeling her rigid muscles as she sank lower to the ground, thankfully doing as he said and making not a sound. She felt the panic in the dwarves, felt them prepare for a fight and it stood the hairs on her neck; though Gandalf's hand held her firm and she soon laid herself on the ground as the horses circled them.

The moment Gandalf took his eyes from her to greet Elrond she crept behind Thorin and Dwalin once more, a tremor in her lips as she kept herself from baring her teeth. Dwalin looked down at her seeing the mistrust plain in the way she crouched low to the ground, glad to know she bore elves no love.

"Strange for orcs to come so close to our borders. Something or someone has drawn them near," Elrond said giving Gandalf a knowing looking.

"That may have been us," Gandalf said turning to his company, finding their lion close at their leader's back.

She stayed at Thorin's back when he stepped closer, her unblinking eyes staring up at the elven lord who hailed him. Once more she felt a wave of anger brush over the dwarves as the elf spoke in his own tongue.

"What is he saying? Does he offer us insult?" Gloin demanded, his ax clenched in his fists.

"No Master Gloin," Gandalf told him quickly, "he is offering you food."

At that the dwarves gathered and spoke to themselves, and Elrond glimpsed a flash of gold behind Thorin. "An odd companion," he said to Gandalf, feeling the timidness in her as she watched him closely.

Gandalf nodded to her to come closer but she did not move from behind Thorin. "Dolraw," he said wanting her to come out and, perhaps not say hello, but at least attempt to be sociable. Thorin looked down at her smirking as she moved no more than an inch forward, her body still low to the ground and her ears twitching though her eyes never strayed from the elf lord's face. Though Gandalf lost his patience with her and he pointed to the spot beside him, and very slowly she crept toward him. "You must forgive her," he told the elvenlord, "she is rather shy."

"When she wants to be, I assume," Elrond replied. He looked down at the lion amusedly, seeing the wariness in her eye as she stared up at him. "Such a striking creature," he said taking her chin in his hand and inspecting her closer. "No harm will befall you here lady lion," he assured her, a coy smile curled on his mouth as he released her. "Perhaps she would like a room to bathe," he said looking to Gandalf.

The wizard realized from the look in Elrond's eye that he knew she was no lion, and he nodded. "She would appreciate that greatly," he said, glancing at her with hard eyes as she looked up at him unhappily.

Though she did not wish to leave the others she followed after Lindir, who had looked upon her startled to find a lion of all things in the realm. Several times she had stopped to look back, and each time Gandalf's eyes grew more irritated until finally she turned a corner and was gone from their sight.

Several gasps she heard as she went, whispers in a tongue she did not know, the quickening of feet as they turned away; the elves were as timid of her as she was of them, and when Lindir reached the room she was to bathe in he turned to find her looking behind them as she crept forward.

"Would you like water to be drawn?" he asked, nearly wincing at the strangeness of asking a beast how it wanted its bath. Though she gave a small nod and he sighed before quickly leaving her.

She sat against a wall as a she elf came to draw the bath, glancing at the lion fearfully before she nearly ran out. And the moment the door closed Dolraw sniffed at the door, listening for any sound of another person, before shifting skins and climbing into the warm water.

…

_They headed northwest, avoiding the path they had taken as they aimed for the river – hoping to be quick about it so as to reach it before nightfall. Several times they stopped and stood stock still as they listened, a faint noise having startled them only to discover it had been a bird or once a little family of foxes. It was late in the day when they found the river, stumbling across a small ford in the shadow of a large rock on the other side. _

_Beorn had climbed up the rock, standing atop it as he looked out into the distance – though nothing did he see or smell, the orcs either too far south or not looking for them at all. _

"_Where will we go now?" Dolraw asked him when he returned to her, sitting in a shallow part of the river as she cleaned herself for the first time in many a month. _

_He quickly did the same, washing away the dirt and filth that had browned his skin for over a year; finding he could breathe easier as he sat beside her clean in the cold water. "We should remain here for the night, tomorrow we will scour the land for any sign of them. After that we will decide," he told her, his mouth slightly lifting at the feel of her hands in his dirty hair. She was quiet for some time, sitting with him laying his head on her chest as she cupped water in her hands and poured it over his hair. _

"_Do you think this is it?" she asked softly many minutes later, now sitting with her arms around his shoulders resting her chin on the top of his head. "Have we really escaped?" _

_He turned to her then, seeing the uncertainty on her face before he took her in his arms. "This is not a dream," he told her, having woken many times after dreaming of freedom only to find himself still chained in his cage. _

_She leaned against him, her mind still too afraid to hope, soaking in the comfort his warmth brought, placing her hand on his chest over the wound she had given him. Long moments they sat quietly together, his arms around her back and her head beneath his cheek. "Beorn," she said quite suddenly. _

_He looked down at her soft face, seeing more now that the dirt was gone that she was even younger than he had first guessed. Without warning she rose to her knees and upon taking his face in her hands she brought his mouth to hers, forcing him to realize the want that had grown in him from the moment Azog first made him take her – the desire that so greatly mirrored her own for him. _

…

She did not return to the dwarves til nightfall, Gandalf having brought her a tray of food as what the elves prepared required hands since they did not eat the meat of animals. It was there, on a balcony laying a bit away from the others did Bilbo find her when he returned from the meeting with Elrond as he read the map. She looked up at him sleepily as he rubbed her head, smiling as she nuzzled against his hand before licking him with her rough tongue.

Though he quickly moved from her when he turned to find Thorin standing next to him, and the dwarf took the hobbit's place and knelt beside where she lay. "We leave before dawn," he told her, not finding it nearly so strange to be speaking to her when he knew very well she understood him. "Can you find a way for us to go so we will not be spotted?" he asked, waiting as she reached her arms out and arched her back before standing and trotting off.

It was a while before she returned, and he had sat waiting for when she did, listening to the others snore as the night grew even deeper. She laid herself down beside him, feeling his hand rest upon her head as he ran his skin over her soft fur – she took his gesture of friendship, knowing he would not offer it if he knew she were a skin changer. And she let him continue stroke her, purring softly as he scratched behind her ear as he lulled her gently to sleep.

She woke the moment he moved, opened her jaws as she yawned before shaking her herself and standing. The dwarves quietly gathered their things, having packed them before they had fallen asleep, and they followed after as she led them out of Rivendell unseen and onto the next leg of their journey.


	7. like the sound of the sun

She scouted the land ahead of the Company for any sign of threat before they would reach the mountains; if they were being hunted, and she wholly believed they were, then she knew the hunter would soon be on his way and she greatly wished to be near Beorn when they came across him.

"Dolraw," Thorin would call, his deep voice booming to where she was, calling her back to his side. They would rest for a few moments, nothing longer than to sit and catch their breath before they stood and continued on. And by nightfall they reached the beginning of the mountains, the leg of their journey she greatly wished not to be apart of – she knew what lived in these mountains, and if it would not frighten them and turn them against her she would have shifted skins and told them they should find a better place to cross; but after pacing the front for several moments Thorin lost his patience and marched ahead of her, leaving her to follow reluctantly behind the others.

"Thank you," Bilbo told her softly, when she raised a paw and batted him toward the mountainside rather than over it; his large feet and aching legs making the crossing very difficult on the poor hobbit, and he would have fallen several times had it not been for her close eye on him.

It didn't take much to make the already unhappy lion entirely miserable, and looking back at his company Thorin could plainly see it on her wet face as the rain continued to pour. She didn't mind the rain, in fact she greatly enjoyed it after having gone so many months without ever seeing the sky – but she did not like the rain as they slowly pulled themselves up this great mountain, and already Bilbo had tripped sending almost half of them off the ledge as they made to grab him.

"Watch out," Dwalin roared, finding the shape of a giant stone hurling toward the cliffs above them. He grabbed the lion and pulled her in front of him before pulling the hobbit down, protecting them both from the hail of rocks that bore down on them.

"This is no thunderstorm," Balin said finding the distinct shape of something large in the clouds after a flash of lightening. "It's a thunderbattle!"

All the more reason to move, as she thought, rather than stand in the open as a stone giant tossed another boulder over their heads. Feeling the stone beneath their feet tremor she moved beside Bilbo, and she looked at the cliff they stood on realizing it was no mountain – her claws made very little traction on the stone, catching in little crevices before they painfully slipped nearly tearing them out. Bofur, looking back and seeing her slipping, nudged her behind him and pressed her against the side of the mountain, and she in turn kept a hold of him to keep them both from falling as the very stone beneath their feet began to shift and quake as the mountain they stood on got to its own feet separating the company. As the stone giant they were on began moving, Dolraw was left with little else to do than shift skins and cling to the wall behind Bofur, curling herself as much as possible to keep from being seen. Even then Bofur reached to grab her, feeling skin instead of wet fur yet he did not turn in fear of losing his balance as the giant reeled, his head struck and his body crumbling, and they began to descend toward the side of the mountain; closer and closer they came until they saw nothing else but black rock.

* * *

_They retraced their steps from the day before, coming across warg tracks as they circled south – realizing the best path for them to take was north, though neither of them bore any plans of returning to the dark wood they crept along outside its borders for a great while. _

"_We should make for the river once more," she said when the sun began its descent in the sky. _

_But Beorn became a man and shook his head. "If they are smart that would be the first place they would look," he said, knowing if they continued to take rest there they would eventually be recaptured. _

_She was already a step ahead of him, their freedom finally becoming a reality in her mind. "With the forest at our back and the river at our front, somewhere in between would be a good place to settle," she explained, having spent most of the day contemplating whether they should remain in this large stretch of land or risk the dark trees to gain distance. _

"_And if the orcs discover us?" he asked, wishing for a place a hundred leagues away and even then somewhere farther. _

_Her face was thoughtful as she looked up at him. "Then we fight," she answered simply, seeing the doubt in his eye. "So long have you spent in a cage you have forgotten how great you are," she told him softly. _

_Raising a hand to her cheek he wondered if he ever would have found the strength to escape without her, or even the will to survive. "Alright little lion," he agreed fondly, believing he might agree to anything so long as she looked up at him so sweetly. _

_With a smile she stepped away from him. "I'll race you," she said, a gleam in her eye at the thought; seeing in the slight curling of his mouth he was fond of the idea as well. "Last one to reach the river has to find supper?" she asked, waiting for his nod before they shifted skins and set off, bounding together gleefully; and so long had it been since they had freely been able to run, without anyone chasing them, without a cage or a shackle hindering them. They had nothing but freedom and long stretch of land, and a partner to race against._

* * *

If she had hit her head and been left unconscious the dwarves would have received a great shock at the bare woman lying beside them as they all shook themselves amazed at being alive; instead when Bofur turned to her he saw her wet fur plastered on her lean body as she shook the water from her coat – leaving him to believe he must have felt Bilbo.

At that thought Bofur looked around panicked. "Where's Bilbo? Where's the hobbit?"

She was on her feet in an instant looking around the mountain side for him. "There," someone cried and she saw his little hands holding onto the side for dear life.

Bilbo, though he did not feel it, was a very fortunate lad for the moment the lion caught sight of his hands – seeing his fingers slipping on the wet rock – she lunged for him and he cried out at the feeling of her sharp claws digging into his skin as she kept him from falling, rooting her other three paws with their claws in every crack and crevice she could to hold him.

With the dwarves unable to reach his other hand, for Dolraw was longer than them all, Thorin held onto the cliff and swung himself down to help their hobbit up. The moment Thorin lost his grip Dolraw slipped through the others, bending around them or between their legs, before aiding Dwalin in pulling the king back onto the mountain; leaving Thorin to growl at the feel of her claws piercing through his clothing and into his skin.

Dwalin ruffled the fur on her head as he sat breathing deeply, his arms aching from having to pull up all of Thorin's weight. "I thought we lost our burglar," he said, proving many of the dwarves had unknowingly grown fond of the hobbit.

However Thorin was not of the same mind, seeing even more in him a burden; one that had almost cost him his life, and the quest would not get any easier. "He's been lost ever since he left home," Thorin said harshly, his voice cruel and unforgiving. "He should never have come, he has no place amongst us."

Dolraw turned to look at Bilbo, seeing the deep hurt on his face; and she saw then Beorn was right in his view of dwarves – they were blind to the lives of those they deemed less worthy than their own. "Come on lass," Balin said patting her head, releasing his own sigh on Thorin's treatment of Bilbo.

The hobbit slumped against the wall of the cave away from the others, cold and wet and miserable; and he shouldn't have come, he was fool to ever think he could reach the end of it. He blinked startled at the feel of a warm rough tongue on his hair. "Dolraw," he said trying not to laugh, in too pitiful of a mood to laugh, only she placed her paws on his leg and set to grooming him. She finished by running her head against his cheek and he smiled before hugging her, blinking as a swelling set behind his eyes. She curled herself around his head, letting him use her side as a pillow, and she cast Thorin a daring look as he watched the two.

She was asleep when he made to leave, and Bilbo almost woke her hoping she might join him back to Rivendell; but he remembered Gandalf's telling him she would go so far as to return to her home, and he left her as she dreamt of Beorn.

It was not until after Bofur hugged him that he looked back to the lion, seeing on the next lightening strike a woman with a mane of golden hair staring wide eyed at the floor of the cave; he watched closely as a flash of lightening illuminated her again, his heart racing to discover he had in fact seen a woman, only he was met with the sight of Dolraw as a lion with her hackles raised as she crept back toward the wall. "Wake up," Thorin roared, having also taken note of the cracking floor. But they were too late for the floor of the cave fell through sending them all down a long cavern, limbs and bodies colliding with each other and the stone before landing in a painful heap at the bottom.

Thorin raised himself on his arms, finding that he was staring down at a long slender, unclothed back. Though the moment he blinked skin was fur once more leaving him to wonder if he had seen anything at all. And then the goblins came.


	8. cause it's vain about its mane

**_Ali: yes, her human skin is showing more frequently - and there's quite a bit more in this chapter._**

* * *

_Two days they spent covering the many miles that stretched the borders of Mirkwood and the river, two days of walking together whether as beasts or humans as they searched for a place to call home. "It is wonderful," Dolraw said staring at the little wood with trees that reached high into the sky, curling together to hide all within them from view. _

"_Yes," Beorn agreed softly, looking all around them to see they truly were hidden from sight – and from within the trees they would hear all who dared come near. The expanse stretched no more than half a mile either way, large enough to harbor the two as they settled. "We can uproot these trees," he said standing within the middle of the wood, "use the wood to build a home." _

"_A large home," she said envisioning their small wooden fortress. "A wonderful home." She stood against him with her arms around his back as they listened to the tweeting of birds, the scurrying of little creatures on the ground; peace echoed in the sounds in their small grove and shone through the leaves above them as sunlight touched their faces. _

_He stared down at her fondly, smoothing back her hair as he touched her cheek. "I will give you anything you want," he told her softly, watching a sweetness mold her face as she looked away from him smiling – a flash of teeth, a glow of warmth; how strong she was to still smile, though it fell quickly, for a brief moment her heart had known no despair. _

"_We could rest," she offered, her cheeks flushed from his burning eyes. "Bathe in the sun, start on the house tomorrow morn." And as he'd sworn, he gave her what she wished, laying with her over his chest as their skin warmed in the sunlight – soaking in every bit of freedom to be found. _

* * *

Dolraw stood over the dwarves snarling, stepping over them as she crept toward the oncoming monstrosities; she loathed goblins with their illness and their deformed faces, she wanted to tear her claws into their throats and spill their blood. And she did just that, using a dwarf to launch herself at the first goblin to reach them, slashing its neck before tearing another's throat out with her teeth. Several more she managed to slaughter, spilling blood and ending lives, the dwarves behind her following suit as quickly as they could untangle themselves; but it was a few moments more before a noose was wound around her neck and mouth muzzling her as they dragged her forward.

If not for their weapons, if not for the company still at her back also be dragged unwillingly forward with their weapons now taken as teams and teams of goblins surrounded them, she would have continued fighting – to have fought to the death for she knew the fate she was being led to. For the sake of Thorin and his kin she let herself be pulled forward on her leash, growling as menacingly as she could with her jaws bound shut – even then, leashed and muzzled she could still kill many of them with only her claws if she'd chosen to.

Many of the dwarves had seen them jerk the leather strap around her neck, hearing her choked swallow as she found herself unable to breathe for several moments. "You let her go," they yelled thrashing about, but there were simply too many cruel hands jabbing into their skin as they were thrusted onward. Until finally, after walking several bridges and platforms they reached the center of the town, and they saw the magnitude of the goblins surrounding them – there was little hope for escape, though that hardly kept the dwarves from continuing to struggle.

"Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?" the Great Goblin asked as he climbed down from his throne; his large feet squashing the goblins beneath him, his horrid chin swinging back and forth as it hung down to his chest, his large obese body covered in boils as he stepped closer to the company now laid before him. "Spies, thieves, assassins?"

"Dwarves, your malevolence," a goblin answered. "We found them on the front porch."

The Goblin king looked upon them as though they were the unsightly ones. "Well don't just stand there, search them! Every crack, every crevice."

She was spared the invasion of hands pulling at her body, digging their diseased hands into her skin as they grabbed weapons; she stood near the back with several daggers aimed at her, though she did little more than wait.

"What are you doing in these parts? Speak!" the Great Goblin commanded, staring at his unwanted guests, though no voice rose to answer. "Very well, if they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring up the mangler, bring up the bone breaker! Start with the youngest."

It was then Thorin stepped forward, and Dolraw pulled against the leather around her neck, choking herself as she tried to reach him – he was weaponless, entirely defenseless and goblins were without mercy, and somewhere from Bag End to this wretched town she had decided he was worth protecting.

"I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head," the Goblin king goaded. "Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A pale orc astride a white warg."

Unconsciously she pulled against the leather, as though she might make to flee – even the suggestion of the pale orc still made her cold with fear. "Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago." What a fool Thorin was to believe that, a bloody fool, and even the horrid goblins knew it for they were in league with the orcs.

"Send word to the pale orc, tell him I have found his prize," the Great Goblin bid his messenger. "And his lion," he sneered, stilling Dolraw's heart. "Did you think I didn't see you? Bring her closer."

The moment the noose tightened she gave up resisting and let herself be brought forward, glaring up at the horrid beast as he smiled cruelly. "I see why he was fond of you," he taunted.

A dwarven hand quickly reached out and pulled the binding from her jaws, and she growled thickly up at the Great Goblin.

"Tell me, lion," he cooed, "do you look forward to seeing your master?"

Her roar brought a silence over all of the town, reverberating in all their spines at the sound of her rage, the Goblin king stepping back startled and afraid. Though his pride quickly returned and he laughed knowing she could do nothing to him before the leather would strangle her. "Force her to show her face," he ordered.

It was only a moment before the noose tightened, the goblins giving it a mighty jerk as they began strangling her. She turned on them bearing her claws, hearing their shrieks faintly beneath the unbearable thud of her heart.

The dwarves watched their lion shocked, hands grabbing them as they tried to intervene – yelling that she be released as her legs gave out beneath her. Several times she tried to stand, brought a paw to her neck to no avail, until finally her hands grabbed the leash and with a desperate pull she tore it from their hands and threw it off her, gasping and coughing as putrid air filled her lungs.

"There she is," he said pleased, "and what a lovely prize you are. Grab hold of her, do not let her go." Hands wrapped around her arms pulling them from her sides, and she was left on her knees bare before the Great Goblin. "If he had not ordered you be brought to him untouched I would wear your skin," he told her, a sick gleam in his eye as he stared down at her.

She did not turn to look at the dwarves, not then and not when she was held to the side as the goblins brought forth many devices of torture for the dwarves; she knew they were all staring at her wide eyed in shock, in anger and betrayal in confusion and fear – for weeks they had travelled with her, believing her to be a lion though they now looked to their companion to see a woman. Thorin had seen her long back beneath him, and Bofur had felt her skin, and if Bilbo had been there he would have recognized her face; none of this they had made up in their minds. Against what they had been told, what they had believed for weeks, their lion was in fact not a lion at all.

She should never have agreed to Gandalf's request of joining him, no matter how kindly he had asked – her place was with Beorn in their warm home where she had spent so many years happily by his side. Now she would watch the dwarves be strung up on racks and tortured before Azog reached them, and he was already on his way – she could feel him bearing closer, a cloud of dread in her heart.

* * *

_Weeks they spent uprooting the trees, Beorn as a great bear pushing against them before using the ax he'd crafted from stone to cut the wood. Dolraw was little help in the matter, for though her body was long she was not strong enough to do the work; she collected the pieces he cut and stacked them, as well as gathering nuts and berries from the trees and bushes. Once she had taken a great many seed from a family of mice, not realizing she had stolen their food until she turned to find a small white body following her. _

"_What did you find?" Beorn asked when she returned, the sun beginning to set and his arms aching, the foundation to the home now complete. He saw in her hair and on her shoulders, and in her hands, little white mice and their collection of seeds. "The first of our animals?" he asked, holding out his hand and allowing a little mouse to crawl onto his palm. _

"_Can we keep them?" she asked, "I'm sure with winter coming soon they would fancy a warm place to live." _

_He stared down at the little creature, no longer than a finger before cupping her cheek and nodding. "You strayed too far today, I could not hear you." _

"_There is little left to collect here, already the animals have moved further away," she said, having known he would be worried but with winter approaching they would need to store what little food they could find. _

_He knew she was right, for she had already complained to him; but he would not risk losing her should anything find themselves upon their little home. "I worry," he told her softly. _

"_I know," she told him, her hand holding his wrist as he continued to touch her face. "It's coming along nicely," she said turning to what he had finished, seeing the house would be quite large. _

_And as weeks more passed it began to look like a house, its walls standing without a roof, one long room where they would eat and house their animals that made the expanse of the home, and two smaller rooms behind it. Dolraw, doing as much as she was able, constructed the doors, and had just finished their large bed frame when she set out to gather better supplies for them. She had stood at the edge of their wood and seen the sign of a campfire, returning to Beorn with the request to pilfer from their bags when night fell. _

"_I will go with you so far as I can see you," he said reluctantly agreeing, "you are quieter yes, but if any trouble arises you might need a stronger fighter." _

_Any other time she might have taken offense to his words, for she had always prided herself on her fighting – though she knew he worried greatly at her coming across Azog without him near, knowing he would never get her back if that came to pass._

_And so he stood a ways back in the dead of night watching as she crept forward making not a sound. From their packs she gathered a few clothes, a sewing needle, spare blankets, and a small knife – she had not touched their food, for they had their own and she knew these people would have a length more to travel. _

_From the clothes she had taken she began stitching a mattress, for none of the men's pants would fit Beorn – though Dolraw had set aside a dress for herself later – and with what little clothing she had left she made a blanket long enough to cover his body and her own. And then, as Beorn began to set down the roof, she gathered material to stuff their mattress, finding dry grass and many feathers from the birds. _

_After many days of this, the bedding almost filled and comfortable, that she reached the edge of the wood to collect what was there. The hairs on her neck stood on end when the birds suddenly grew silent, not a sound in the trees around her as though waiting in anticipation for something to happen. As though she knew, she turned to the open land behind her to see Azog atop his warg scouting the hill very near to their home. Holding her breath she stepped back silently, realizing she had not been noticed for the warg sniffed the ground and Azog was staring about. But her scent was caught on the wind and the warg turned to her, Azog's eyes finding her standing between the trees. She dropped what she held in her hands and turned to run through the trees, hearing the sound of Azog urging his warg after her – his dark voice calling for her in a black word she had learned meant lion. She would not outrun them, not even as a lion; and what little use would trying to flee be if she could not warn Beorn of what was coming. Her heart grew panicked at the sound of them in the trees, bark breaking and both warg and orc snarling as they quickly bore down on her. _

"_Beorn!"_


	9. and will reveal them to no one

_He had not noticed the sound of the animals quieting, for many of them had drawn near the home he was building and they tweeted and scurried unaware of the danger still far from them; though he stilled at the sound of Dolraw's body running through the trees, jumping down from the roof in a panicked rush at a larger body breaking through the trees after her. _

"_Beorn!"_

_His skin gave way to fur the moment she screamed for him, and he heard a pause as he gave a mighty roar, all the fury in the world bearing down on them as he raced for her. _

_Azog realized of course she had stayed with the bear, he had seen the fondness as little as they showed it, had seen the rage in the bear's eyes at her treatment. And Azog knew, out of its cage, this would be the only chance he had of getting back what the bear had taken from him. Faster he spurred his warg, urging her closer to his lion who ran on two legs – as strong as she was she could not break through the trees, she was left running around them as Azog swung his mace shattering them, as Beorn charged through them. Ever closer both orc and bear came to their lion, both racing for her as she ran toward one and away from the other; until at last one of them caught her. _

* * *

_Bones will be shattered_  
_Necks will be wrung._  
_Beaten and battered_  
_From racks you'll be hung._  
_You'll die down here_  
_and never be found._  
_Down in the deep of Goblin-town._

The Great Goblin sang, his voice an awful shrieking that should not have been allowed to sing. Though the dwarves were hardly listening as they struggled against the many hands holding them as the devices to bring them pain were brought forth, and no matter how they thrashed about they made no head way; their struggles did little more than cause sick fingers to dig into their flesh harder as they were held still.

Dolraw knelt with three goblins behind her holding her arms, the third holding his dagger to her throat if she thought of changing skins. She watched the dwarves struggling against what was coming, seeing the fight in them – at some point in the weeks she had been with them she had started seeing them as her dwarves, and she was sitting only able to watch and wait unable to protect them.

"I know that sword it is the goblin-cleaver," the Great Goblin said, cowering on his throne before the sword that was taken from Thorin. A rage fell over the goblins and they swarmed the dwarves, beating them with their fists and whips, throwing them to the ground; she threw herself against the arms holding her, feeling her shoulders strain and the steel of the rusted blade dig into her throat but she only looked up at the few around her and growled thickly.

Thorin looked to the woman, raising his arm to steel himself from the leather striking him, wondering if she still would fight for them and if he even wished for her to; and he watched bewildered as she seemed to shake off her skin, as though the lion lived beneath the façade of a woman. So enchanted by the terribleness of her that a goblin leapt at his back and took him off his feet.

"Kill them, kill them all. Cut off his head!" he barely heard the Great Goblin yell amidst the sounds of the beasts around them and his own kin yelling; yet even louder was the sound of his own thrashing as he fought the goblins trying to hold him down, hearing Dolraw roar whether in fury or pain he did not know – but she did not save him as he lay with his arms held down and a goblin kneeling over him with a dagger, their lion did not come.

Though she tried greatly, digging her claws into the face of the goblin with the dagger leaving him shrieking as he tumbled off the platform, though the two behind her quickly threw themselves at her flattening her against the wood as they both curled an arm around her neck. She lay trying to get to her feet, gnashing to no avail, her claws digging into the wood instead of their flesh, her head throbbing once more as her heart pounded furiously in her chest as she once more struggled for air. Her vision began to fade, black dots painting her vision as her paws to her hands and she began tearing at the hands around her neck; and then everything went white.

* * *

_Beorn tore through the trees and slid to a halt at the sight of Azog's white hand around Dolraw's jaw, her small body hanging off the ground and her eyes wide and pleading. He growled at the orc though he did not step closer, knowing with a rough jerk of his hand her neck would break – as fond of her as Azog was, he valued his own life above all. _

_He gave the order for Beorn to become a man, a word they both knew to mean flesh; but Beorn did not listen, knowing the moment he did the warg – who stood beside Azog – would lunge for his throat. Azog smiled cruelly before barking the word again, and his pale face darkened when the bear still did not obey. And so he raised his arm, watching the bear closely, as he made to snap her neck. _

"_No!" Beorn roared, his fur melting away to reveal the man; having seen Azog intended to kill her for his insolence. He stood breathing heavily, his teeth still sharp and his nails still claws, the hair on his arms thick and black; he stood half man and half bear waiting for what would happen. _

_Dolraw hung in Azog's grasp, her hands clutching his wrist though she was not strong enough to escape his grasp; she knew how this would end, Beorn would die and Azog would take her. The punishment would be horribly severe, he would not care to preserve what little beauty he had seen in her as a lion, he would make her scream simply because he enjoyed hearing it. And Beorn would be dead. With all the thoughts of torture and pain that were to come, it was the thought of Beorn living no longer that would be too cruel to endure. She looked at him desperate and hoping, waiting until he caught her eye before she moved. _

_Azog never expected it, it's what she'd been counting on; she'd given him little reason to fear her, a scratch here or there a little nip that drew blood – he knew of her strength, the sharpness of her claws, but he never felt them. Not until in his grasp she shifted skins and slashed at his face, leaving identical marks on either cheek as his grip loosened in startled pain. But that was all it took for her to throw herself away from him toward Beorn who had already changed skins and swiped a massive paw at the lunging warg. Lion and bear stood as Azog turned to them, his face bleeding and his eyes burning. With a crazed yell he grabbed his mace and raced for Beorn, both animals leaping out of the way; and Azog, now realizing the severity of his plight, did not turn on Beorn – even he knew the bear outmatched him – instead he turned to the lion, and with a mighty swing of his mace he flung her against a tree watching as the woman fell to the ground. _

_Beorn cried out at the sight of her small body colliding with a sturdy tree, hearing her bones break, hearing the bark crack as it split in two, and then saw her crumple to the ground. With gaping jaws he gnashed at the orc, spurring him onward as he lept onto his warg and sped away; as Azog had known the bear did not follow, allowing him the chance to flee with his life. _

"_Dolraw," he said softly as he knelt beside her, brushing the hair out of her face to see her eyes unopened. At only the sight of her he knew in the very least her arm was broken, already the skin darkened as it hung limp over her side; and upon turning her onto her back he saw broken too were her ribs from where the mace had struck. With little else to do he gently lifted her into his arms and carried her back to the half-finished home, laying her beneath the part of the roof he had put up and covering her with the blanket she'd stitched together; praying simply for her to wake._

* * *

Dolraw sat up slowly breathing deeply as she looked around, the goblins that had been holding her somewhere falling beneath her, and saw Gandalf standing on the platform as light slowly returned.

"Take up arms," he told them, "fight. Fight."

With renewed fervor the dwarves got to their feet and grabbed their weapons before turning on the rousing goblins; Dolraw launched herself at them, giving the dwarves enough time to find their bearings and turn with raised weapons toward their swarming foe. She snarled and growled and tore at their throats, exacting the vengeance she had never found against the orcs who had imprisoned her in the southern region of these mountains. And what a sight her vengeance was to behold, many of the dwarves had looked to their lion after seeing a flash of gold and hearing a terrible shriek, and found in no more than a blink of an eye the lion would be a woman and she would raise whatever weapon she found and kill a goblin or two before once more a lion would lunge for the soft flesh of a goblin's throat; she made the most vicious of foes, for not even her allies knew which face to expect when looking to her.

"Follow me, quick," Gandalf urged them.

Thorin found himself running beside Dolraw as they took up the rear and they turned together, him with his sword and her with claws and teeth, as they tore through the goblins that raced after them. And on they ran, casing several platforms and bridges, killing all that came near. So desperate was Thorin to escape that he called her name and threw her a weapon, watching briefly as the lion stood on two legs and a woman she became once more – and with the ax that had been given she turned violently and cut straight through three goblins before the blade stuck in the fourth, and with a mighty heave she pulled it free before tossing it back to Thorin and dropping to all fours before she launched herself at the goblin behind him.

On and on they raced, battling the neverending streams of goblins that continued to plague them, over the platforms that seemed to go on forever without end; the dwarves thrusting goblins aside, taking their heads, ending their lives – running beside their lion whose mouth dripped with blood and claws set it flowing, and as a woman who would take the weapon she was given and drive it through the goblins, her skin painted with the red of her enemies blood.

She could feel the shift in the air, the lightness to it, the not so heavy with the stinking heat of goblin; they were many platforms above the exit, but they were so close now she could taste it. And upon rounding a corner they found not a goblin in sight before them, all of them at their backs, and they made for the bridge hoping to knock it down and gain distance from the vile creatures.

But they were brought to a halt when from beneath the bridge the Great Goblin burst forth and stood towering over them. "You thought you could escape me?" he sneered before slamming his club at Gandalf's feet hoping to crush him.

"No," Thorin growled grabbing the scruff of Dolraw's neck as she tried to pull herself to the wizard, with her teeth bared she growled as she yanked herself forward, forcing Thorin to dig in his heels to keep from being dragged with her. Though they were both quickly occupied with the mass of goblins at their backs and they turned to see the many weapons and disformed faces aimed at them; though they tittered afraid at the sound of the lion's thick growl as she stood before Thorin, drawing the goblins back several steps in fear of her.

"What are you going to do now, wizard?" she heard the Goblin king ask mockingly. Though it was hardly a few moments before the mutant beast fell heavily on the bridge with both his belly and his neck cut, and all of the goblins stilled in shock at their king's death. The wood beneath their feet began to shake from the weight of the large goblin, creaking and cracking as it began crumbling. And then they fell.


	10. now I'm an animal

Thorin found himself once more laying over Dolraw's back, knowing this time he truly was seeing an unclothed woman beneath him; though what left him raised on his arms staring down at her were the old markings of a whip etched into her skin. He recalled the Great Goblin's words of Azog being her master – though he could not believe the pale orc lived – and he recalled the rage bellowing in her roar; he realized, though she had lied to them all, though she were a woman who very much understood every word that was spoken, she had been held prisoner of terrible creatures – tortured, raped, whipped. How could he possibly blame her for being wary of what they would do upon discovering she was a woman, when she had every right to fear the action of man.

"Gandalf," Kili yelled, and Thorin looked to where his nephew's wide eyes were trained to see hundreds upon hundreds of goblins swarming down the crevice toward them. Thorin pushed himself to his feet and pulled her after him as he helped her out of the rubble from the bridge, seeing as she stood on her long legs his head went no higher than her breasts – and he might have grown flustered at the sight of them so close to his face had his own panic not been rising as the goblins drew ever near.

"There's too many, we can't fight them," Dwalin told the wizard panicking.

Even Gandalf felt fear curl in his heart at the sight of so many of them, knowing if they were slowed by anything they would be caught and killed; he looked at Dolraw as she sniffed the air and hurriedly crept forward, her skin now fur as she caught the scent of fresh air and followed it. "There's only one thing that will save us, daylight. Come on," he urged them, dragging a dwarf from beneath the bridge before pushing him after the lion.

Dolraw kept her head up as she breathed in the cool air, her ears flicking as the sound of the goblins grew louder the closer they came; Gandalf was right, they would be safe in the light – especially from these goblins, who had spent so long in the dark, it would burn them and frighten them and they would not follow the Company. But she knew the goblins were now the least of their concerns, for Azog knew exactly where Thorin was – and so too did he know where she was, without sign of her bear to protect her. And so she continued to race forward, almost considering the idea of fleeing down the mountains and leaving them all behind.

"Hurry, follow her," Thorin cried to the others.

And there it was, her reason to stay and fight for them; even though she had been dishonest with him Thorin was still willing to trust her. He was loyal to a fault, and underneath his hard façade he was kind and unbearably sad; and she had already proven she would fight for them. Knowing all he had faced, knowing all that had been taken from him, somewhere after they had left the Shire she had stopped being able to leave him. Out of all the people she had met, which did not amount to many, he was someone she would willingly fight beside, to fight for; and he so greatly deserved all he was trying to get back.

Which was why when sunlight suddenly blinded her eyes and freedom now laid out before her, she did not continue running; she stopped when the dwarves did and stood waiting for what they would do next, prepared to continue fighting for them.

* * *

_Beorn had resumed laying down the roof, having sat by her side for an hour waiting for her to wake though she did little more than breathe softly. Winter would be upon them in only days, already the signs of the snow to come hanging in the air and clouding the sky; he needed to finish the roof, and soon – especially with her now wounded. _

_It was nearing dark when he was startled by the sound of her gasping, and he leapt down from the roof and knelt by her side as he smoothed back the hair from her brow. "I know," he said softly when she whimpered, wiping the tears as they leaked out of her eyes. "I know it hurts." _

_That was not an adequate enough word for the pain she felt, her entire left side was engulfed in flames - her arm limp and her hand unmoving feeling as though they had been ripped from her body. And her side, it literally felt as though someone was digging their fingers into her skin and tearing the flesh from her ribs, their other hand squeezing her lung leaving her gasping lightly as she tried to breathe. She'd have taken the whip, taken Azog mounting her; nothing could have been worse than lying crying in terrible pain. _

_It was only a few moments of sitting beside her trying to calm her, to soothe her so she might find peace in sleep, only for her to begin weeping; his bones had been broken before, the orcs had shown him terrible cruelty, and so he knew the awful ache and spasming in her arm, in her ribs – he could imagine the tightness in her chest as she tried to breathe, no way to escape the pain. He did not want to leave her, not after Azog had come so close, but he could not bear sitting beside her without a way to help her. "I will be as quick as I can," he swore to her, hearing her small no as she tried to plead with him to stay. He kissed her brow before standing, his skin giving way to fur and he left at a mad gallop for the dark wood knowing there must be some plant that would soothe her more than his words. _

_Several minutes he stood sniffing at the plants, not recognizing a single one of them and even worse not knowing if they would actually help. In his yearning to find something to help her he did not notice the soft, barely heard, sounds of someone behind him – did not know Azog had been spotted from within these very trees the day before. He did not know it until he heard the sound of wood creaking and a string pulling, and he turned as a man raising his hands in surrender to find an elf aiming their bow at him._

* * *

Dolraw stood facing the way they came having heard the sound of feet following them, and she stood staring directly at Bilbo without being able to see him; knowing it was their hobbit for she knew the sound of his breathing, and she caught his scent on the wind. What she could not understand was why he was hidden from her view, not knowing what magic he had found that he was capable of such sorcery.

Little Bilbo knew their lion was aware he was there, for she was staring straight at him – yet she did not move closer nor give him away, she stood waiting for him to join them. And so she was the only one among them entirely unsurprised when he suddenly appeared, she was far more curious as to know how he suddenly came into view though she did not speak; for another scent she caught on the wind, one she knew and feared. He was coming.

She stood at Bilbo's side pacing to and fro not listening to the words that were spoken. She would turn to look at the wizard, at Thorin, at any of them, and then turn back to the hill above them – yet they gave her no notice for they were listening to Bilbo's word as he told them why he had returned.

"Gandalf," she said standing as a woman, her eyes wide and her face pale – more fear than any of them thought her capable shining in her eyes. Though Bilbo stared up at her baffled at seeing a woman, one he had seen in a flash of lightening before she was a lion once more – but before any of them could question her they heard a chilling howl very near to them.

"Out of the frying pan," Thorin muttered realizing the orcs had finally caught them.

"And into the fire," Gandalf finished. "Run!"

Once more a lion she ran quickly, urging the others faster at the sound of the trees above them breaking, knowing they would quickly be overrun for the wargs were much faster than anyone on two legs. Her heart was fluttering much too fast for her to defend the dwarves, her head feeling light as fear overflowed in her veins – Beorn was too far, he would not come when she called, he would not find her for Azog would take her – he would be waiting for her to return, knowing within a few days something had gone amiss for she was already many days late.

They were brought up short at the edge of a cliff, staring down at the hundreds of feet below them and knowing there was now no way to escape. "Into the trees all of you," Gandalf ordered them. "Come on, climb."

Dolraw was only too glad to listen, digging her claws in the bark as she dragged herself up the nearest tree. When she finally settled on a branch she looked down to see all of the dwarves had done the same, Thorin at her side running a hand over her head realizing she had great reason to be so afraid orcs; and she had truly looked so terrified. Though there was one in their company who was still on the ground, Bilbo stood pulling his sword out of the warg's head and turned to find he was completely alone – and several wargs now racing for him with open jaws. There was simply not enough time to get him into the tree without a warg locking their jaws around his wee body, and so as a hand reached down and grabbed the hobbit the nearest warg lunged snarling for him.

* * *

_The elf stared at the man with wide eyes, not understanding how it was possible for the bear to become a man; and she lowered her bow as she stepped back. _

_Beorn watched the red haired she elf retreat from him, seeing she was making to flee. "Please," he called after her, hearing the sound of her feet stilling as she waited. He chanced a step closer though she tightened her grip on the still notched bow in her hands, watching him warily – having never seen such a display of enchantment, not knowing what this half beast was only that it spoke the common tongue. "My," he paused as he thought of how to explain Dolraw, "wife has been hurt greatly. I need something for her." He did not trust this elf, he would rather kill her than make her aware there was an injured woman somewhere near – laying unable to move and entirely vulnerable, and he was left wishing he had never left her. _

_The elf held up a hand to him before walking back in the trees, stooping low to pluck different leaves off of plants before making her way back to the bear-man. She should not help him, she should loose her arrow and bring him to her king; but if his words were true then he greatly needed help, and she had caught sight of the many scars lining his body leaving her wondering what horrible place he had come from. "Take me to her," she ordered, seeing the refusal flare in his eyes. "You will not know what to do with the leaves and I cannot know what your wife needs without seeing her." _

_With great reluctance he nodded, honestly contemplating killing the she elf before taking her leaves and returning to Dolraw; but she was right in that he did not know what to do with the leaves, and so he was given little choice but to take the elf back to Dolraw._

* * *

The warg yelped at the claws that dragged down its face, saving Bilbo's legs from its terrible teeth, and the company stared down horrified at their lion now facing the wargs surrounding her. She snarled and hissed, batting at the wargs when they made to bite her, backing toward the edge of the cliff hoping she might find a way back into the tree, until three wargs circled around her keeping her from moving any further.

Her belly sank to the ground at the sound of a deep voice barking, knowing that voice almost as well as she knew her own; she sometimes still dreamt of him finding a way to take her from Beorn, returning her to her dark cell with his cold hands on her skin. He was the nightmare that plagued her, leaving her to wake with a start needing Beorn's arms around her to calm her drumming heart. And there Azog sat high and proud on his warg as they slowly came closer; his order having been that she was his and so the wargs had ceased their advances and turned to their master.

He stared down at his lion having never thought she would be so foolish as to leave her bear, for there was no escape for her without him. And he smiled savagely at the fear in her eyes, at knowing she still feared him enough to submit to him as she changed her skin; and he stared down darkly at the woman now on her knees gazing up at him.


	11. you're an animal too

_The elf kept her distance as they walked, the leaves put away and her bow in hand should he become a bear once more. As closely as she watched him, he watched her; he would not lead this elf to Dolraw only for her to kill her. And Dolraw was already so weak, so hurt that she would have no means of defense - she was utterly vulnerable, and he regretted once more ever leaving her side. _

_"How was she hurt?" she asked him, looking up at his unkind face awaiting his response. Though his only answer was a hard look and the baring of his teeth. "You could be taking me to a woman looking for her next meal," she told him, her words proving she did not trust him._

_"I could be taking you to a woman who cannot arm herself," he replied bitterly. _

_Her eyes once more found their way to his back where scars of a whip lined his skin, and she realized if he were telling the truth in his wife being hurt then he was being forced to trust that a person he did not know meant her no harm. "Is she the lion?" she asked, meeting his wary eyes. "You both were spotted walking along our boarders many days previous." She had been patrolling when she caught sight of them, staring at the two through the trees as they walked together - such a strange sight they were, a bear and his lion, though she had seen him nuzzle her fondly, seen the lion lick his face in return. At the memory of the animals who were so clearly devoted to one another, she did not believe harm would fall her; it was then, staring at the human face of the bear and seeing his worry, she realized that the lion truly was hurt for he would not risk leading an elf to her. "How was she hurt?" she asked again, her voice gentle and her eyes less hard._

_He looked at the she elf closely, the sense of threat ebbing away as she continued to walk beside him. "An orc," he answered finally._

_"__You were running from him," she said, having first thought they had been hunting. "Do you believe he may return?" _

_Beorn shook his head, the line of trees their house was behind coming into view and he watched her out of the corner of his eye as they drew ever closer. "Azog is many things but he is not stupid." And he truly believed Azog would not dare return, not when Beorn was alive and well with rage burrowed in his heart at what he had done to Dolraw. _

_She almost smiled at his words. "He would not return when you are so fit to tear him apart," she finished. Without meeting his lion she knew he loved her greatly, and she only had to draw to mind the tender way in which the lion had licked his face to know she loved him as well. _

_Beorn looked down at her giving a short laugh before he quieted and stepped through the trees. He strained his ears listening for any sound, stepping in front of the elf at a branch snapping before he saw the small animal that had done it. _

_She followed after his quick strides as he returned to the lion, eager to see to her wellbeing; he had almost been afraid he would return to her screaming, though he found her laying quietly as she shivered, her mind drifting in out of consciousness on the waves of pain. "Dolraw," he said softly, kneeling beside her as he smoothed the hair from her sweaty brow. _

_With furrowed brows she turned to him slowly, her head falling to the side as she blinked once before falling once more unconscious. He turned from her only when he heard the sounds of the she elf outside and he moved to the door to find her searching through the pile of things Dolraw had pilfered from the camp. "What are you doing?" he asked her, not liking that she was now aware of the place they called home. _

_"__She needs to drink it," she said finding a kettle, having heard the woman's breathing and knowing from the soft wheezing that her ribs were broken. _

_Beorn watched her build a fire, guarding the way into the home until the elf stepped before with a hard look and a small wooden cup Dolraw had carved. "It would be better for her to take this now when she already sleeping, she would sit in agony waiting for sleep to come to her if you make her wait." _

_With great reluctance he stepped aside and allowed her through, watching her eyes widen when she saw Dolraw; her arm and side were blackened from where she had been struck by Azog's mace, her breathing deep and wheezing. She knelt beside the woman and looked up at the bear waiting for him to hold her up so she could pour the crushed leaves down her throat in the form of tea. "Shh, I know," he soothed Dolraw when she whimpered at him moving her, and he waited as she slowly drank the earthy water before settling her back down and covering her. _

_The elf watched as he soothed her into a troubled sleep, not leaving her side or even taking his eyes off her until she stilled. "These are for sleep," she said holding up a leaf, "these are for the pain, and these are for healing. For a few days you should make her sleep, it will be easier for her. Make her drink every meal, and if the pain is too much give her more. After a week only give her these leaves," she said holding up the ones for sleep, "at night. Within a month she should be on her feet, but she will still need to rest." _

_Beorn looked up and nodded before turning back to Dolraw, staring at her intently as though he could see inside her mind to hear if she was swimming in numb peace. When next he looked up the elf was gone and the leaves on the floor beside them. _

_He did as told and let her sleep, returning to the roof to finish it – stopping only at noon to pour the tea in her mouth, and then again when the sun set. Her soft whimper woke him early in the morn and he gave her the last of the leaves, stepping outside to go gather more only to find a pile of them before the door. _

* * *

Dolraw stayed her place on her knees before Azog, her heart beating hard enough to break out of her chest – it might have, if Azog had not taken his eyes from her face and looked to Thorin. She felt the wargs at her back, sniffing her curiously as they recognized her scent, though she did not take her eyes from Azog, remembering how great the pain she felt when last he'd caught her with his mace.

One word he spoke did she know, kill – it was a command he had given her more times than she could bear to remember. The wargs swarmed around her, leaping over her or running past her close enough their fur brushed her arm; the sound of trees breaking and crashing to the ground met her ears, of the dwarves yelling in fear as the wargs leapt for them in a mad fervor, and still she did not turn. The moment she turned her back on him, the very second her eyes shifted showing she was considering running, Azog would lunge for her and they both knew he would catch her; whether by hand or by mace, he did not care if she were broken, pain is what he wished to give her.

It was not a yell, it was not Azog moving first, it was not even a sound that had her turning, it was the smell of fire. She realized the moment she smelled smoke what Gandalf had done, he was buying them all precious time, and while Azog's eyes were on the others she changed skins and charged for the last remaining tree; moving around the wargs as they timidly inched back from the flames paying her little mind, leaping over the wall of fire they had created and sinking her claws into the bark. Though it would hurt she retracted her claws and pushed herself higher before hanging once more by them, finding herself in reach of a hand held out for her. If not for little Bilbo holding onto him, Fili might have fallen when Dolraw grabbed his hand – her long body nearly the length of Gandalf's. But he pulled her onto the branch where she sat breathing heavily as she looked to Azog, seeing his enraged eyes at her having escaped him again. Though her mind was stolen from the small hope that she might return home after all when the tree began to shake, groaning as the roots dislodged from the soil and they began to fall.

She had not realized they were cornered at the edge of the cliff, not until she was left as a lion dangling from the tree over open air. Once more she was faced with death, for already her claws were dragging down the bark; if her end was here, at the base of the Mountain, Beorn would find her – he would come looking for her and discover her broken and lifeless, she could hear him scream as he fell to his knees taking her in his arms. Death was not an option, she could not leave him.

Her efforts were in vain, for the moment she tried to gain footing with her back paw she would slip further down the tree – and then Thorin got to his feet and charged toward Azog, his movements jostling her further down the bark as she looked after him – losing him behind the wall of flame. But she heard him cry out, heard Azog's roar of immense pleasure and knew Thorin had lost. It had all been for nothing; she was too low on the tree, unable to pull herself up without losing her balance or her hold on the tree, dangling by the tips of her claws as they tore through the bark bringing her ever near the end. Until finally the bark of the tree could hold her no longer and she slipped away, falling into the night.

The moment she felt soft feathers against her fur she changed her skin, turning on her belly to find that she was on a large eagle – and he craned his neck to give her a look, letting her know he was not pleased to be carrying a lion. Though he flew her all the same, for they had been called most urgently to aid; he was not pleased, in fact he was very wary of the woman who had been a lion when she first fell, but he carried her to the Carrock all the same. And as the sun painted the sky pink and orange he let her down on the familiar rock before lifting off into the sky; leaving her staring in the direction of her and Beorn's wood, seeing the line of trees that hid their home. She was almost there, almost home; she was so close now she could almost smell him on the morning air.

* * *

**_And you all were afraid something was going to happen to her :D but no really, if anything happened to her before they reached her house Beorn would kill them. Also, next chapter will be the last with the flashbacks because I will pretty much be caught up to the present._**


	12. pick up that, drink from that lake

When next the Company saw their lion, for she had been the first to be flown away, it was when they turned from the sight of Erebor and saw her pacing unhappily as she sniffed the air. Bilbo rubbed a hand over her head seeing she was anxious for something, almost forgetting the woman she had been before; though Thorin hadn't, and without the need for her skill he found himself wary of her and her intention with his Company.

And so while Bilbo left as their scout, for Gandalf had bid them it was for the best Dolraw stay by their side, Thorin stood near her looking down at her firmly. If not for the fierce way in which he stared at her she would have simply turned her back on him and continued pacing, as it were she changed her skin and stood before him – watching his eyes leave her unclothed body in embarrassment.

"Was it ever your intention to tell us you were," he paused not knowing entirely what she was.

"A skin changer," she finished. "No," she admitted, drawing his eyes to her surprised by her honesty, "I intended only to see you so far as my home, as Gandalf requested."

Thorin nodded, Gandalf having already told them such when he first proposed her join them; though now, he realized why he had seen such emotion in her eyes, why he felt as though he was required to speak to her as though she might respond. And he realized she did in fact have a home to return to. "Your husband," he said, waiting until she nodded before continuing, "is he like you?"

She nearly smiled as she shook her head. "Not exactly," she answered.

He stood waiting for her say to more, to tell him what her husband was like – if he were human or a half beast as she was, or perhaps he was simply an animal. There was no way to know, not without asking her and after bearing witness to her fight he did not wish to upset her. And so he said nothing, knowing they would meet him when they came across her home – wherever it was she called home.

As though she had guessed his thoughts she turned to him, the scent of Beorn so strong on the air. "My husband," she said pausing at the word husband, for though it was the closest word to describe him, it was one she had never used before, "is not an easy man, and he has been given good reason. I am the easier one of us both, his wrath is the one you should concern yourself with."

He looked up at her dirty face, seeing behind the mane of golden hair that called to mind her lion form, he saw her kindness – the gentleness he had seen when she had licked Bilbo's face or let one of them stroke her head. "You did not run," he said. "When we had broken free of the goblin-town you stayed with us, you had known Azog was coming for me – for you."

She gave him a coy look before turning away. "I suppose my fondness for the lot of you is no secret now," she said making him smile. Both their attentions were taken away by the sound of the orcs chasing them, and all previous mirth fell at realizing they were not out of the danger yet. They turned at sound of pattering feet racing toward them, seeing Bilbo running down the pathway toward them.

"How close is the pack?" Thorin asked, not liking how loud the wargs had sounded when all else around them was silent.

"Too close," Bilbo answered, his little heart beating furiously from what he had seen. "A couple leagues, no more. But that's not the worst of it."

Dolraw, once more a lion now straining to hear the pack, discovered the sound of large feet with sharp claws scraping the stone as it quietly came closer – Beorn had caught Bilbo's scent, he would now trace it back to them. And he was already so close, she could feel him – she wanted nothing more than to run to him, to watch the surprise on his face he shifted skin and took her in his arms. Just a few more moments of the Company talking aimlessly, barely listening as Bilbo told them of the other creature; whom of course Gandalf had known of for he was the very reason the wizard had asked her to accompany them. He looked to the lion, seeing she so greatly wished to greet the bear – but they still needed her yet and she nodded displeased.

"There is a house, it's not far from here, where we may take refuge," Gandalf told the panicking dwarves, taking Dolraw's quiet permission.

"Who's house?" Thorin was quick to demand, the elven stronghold being the last place the wizard had taken them to. "Are they friend or foe?"

Gandalf looked down at the lion, seeing her eyes were searching the rocks above them hoping for a glimpse. "Neither," he answered honestly. "He will help us or he will kill us."

They were not comforting words, but they had little other choice for the two options left to them were the orcs or the giant beast; though what they did not know was that it had been Gandalf's plan all along to seek refuge in the house of Beorn using Dolraw, the ever kinder of the two, as the means of Beorn's agreement. "What choice do we have?" Thorin asked knowing there was little hope for another way.

Dolraw's eyes widened in longing at the sound of the great roar, and Gandalf placed a hand on her head forcing her to look up at him. "Please," he begged her, knowing should Beorn find her first he would not care for the rest of them – the only way they would all safely be housed out of reach of the orcs was if Dolraw was inside, forcing Beorn to stand watch, for his lion was with them.

* * *

_It was a long few days, turning into weeks and the first snow fell keeping Beorn inside with a sleeping Dolraw and little else to do. And so with the blade she had taken from the camp he set to carving in the wood; on a cup, a chair after he built it, their bed. She woke from her daze several days after the first snowfall, Beorn continuing to let her sleep for it was the only time she was able to find peace; she stared at the wood above seeing the roof had been finished, and then next she searched for Beorn – the last thing she truly remembered was him leaving to find something to help her. It was a relief to see him at one of the columns he had constructed to hold the house up, a pile of wood shavings at his feet as he carved a wondrous pattern into the wood. _

"_It is beautiful," she said softly, swallowing thickly at her dry throat. _

_He turned to her surprised by her speaking, other than the animals that had taken refuge from the winter, who were mostly sleeping, it was entirely quiet. With a gentle hand he lifted her and brought a cup of water to her lips, watching as she greedily drank it before he settled her on her back once more. "How do you feel?" he asked, smoothing back her hair. _

_After taking a breath she answered: "I'm alright I suppose." _

"_It does not hurt?" he asked raising a brow, not believing her. _

_She smiled lightly and shook her head. "I didn't say that, but I'm alright." And she was, for though it ached and she could not breathe deeply it was a pain she could live with – a pain she could be distracted from; and day by day, week by week the dull throbbing began to fade, and the bruises on her skin turned a sickly yellow before disappearing entirely. _

_It was then, the first few months into winter, that they received a visitor. Dolraw sat against the wall beside Beorn, her arm in a sling fashioned from the end of the dress she had saved to wear, watching as he carved into a cup. It was a lovely little picture, a lion entwined with a bear, their heads pressed together, a pony on the side, several bees, flowers. She leaned against his shoulder warming by the fireplace he'd built from stone, when they were startled by the sound of footsteps. Beorn put down the knife and placed the cup in her hands before standing and grabbing the axe he'd crafted when they'd first been startled by the sound of animals, though it had only been four ox who had stumbled upon their home seeking shelter to which they had been granted. _

_Dolraw sat up straight wishing her arm was better healed for she was truly vulnerable and entirely useless should a fight be made – though Beorn lowered the axe when he opened the door to see who now stood on their front step. _

"_I came to see how she was," a soft voice said, one more fair than Dolraw had ever heard – a voice she had thought she'd only dreamed. But in stepped a very lovely woman, her hair as red as flame. "I was hoping to see you up," she said almost pleasantly as she knelt before the woman, seeing the picture on the cup and smiling softly. "You probably do not remember much of those first days." _

"_I know your voice," Dolraw said softly, watching a lovely smile curl on her beautiful face. "What is your name?" _

"_Tauriel," she answered, reaching for Dolraw's arm – she gently pulled the fabric away before inspecting her closely, watching her face for even the slightest tremble of pain, and refitting her sling when she was satisfied. "A week more at most and you should be able to walk on it, though I would not try to run," she told her kindly, finding she was quite glad to see the lion woman free of the pain that had so greatly plagued her. With a small nod of her head she stood and returned to the doorway. "My absence will be noticed, I only came to see she was well," she told Beorn, watching him nod reluctantly. _

_As unhappy as he was with her knowledge of where they lived, for she had returned many times with new leaves saving him from having to leave Dolraw defenseless, he was glad to know the she elf truly meant them no harm. And so when he heard the sound of a second set of footsteps he pushed Tauriel behind him and stood holding the axe tight in his hand, listening as the steps came round the house before charging out. _

_At the sound of a startled cry Tauriel ran behind him, tried to get between the enraged man and the intruder. "Legolas," she yelled, hoping to get her prince to put his bow away. _

"_This is where you have been coming," he said nearly spitting, knowing this man was hardly a man at all. "To see this half beast." _

"_H__î__r nin, Legolas," she said trying to calm him, seeing the thickening of Beorn's hair and knowing he very well might kill them both for coming so close to Dolraw. "He needed help." _

_Legolas turned to her outraged. "If the king were to know of your dealings with this beast," he said, hearing Beorn growl deeply and he kept his notched bow in hand not waiting for the moment he became a bear as he aimed it at the man's heart. He was startled by the woman who threw herself in front of the man, as wild as he with her mess of tangled hair and her unclothed body – her arm tied around her as it continued to heal. It was then the elven prince realized the man was not only defending himself – and it was the woman's presence, a woman who could not fight for herself, that made him so fierce. It was this woman he realized Tauriel had been helping, a woman so very brave in her devotion to the bear behind her – and he realized this was the lion he and Tauriel had seen one day near their trees. _

_Beorn stood with a hand on her shoulder, prepared to fling her behind him should the elf make to shoot; though Legolas lowered his bow and unnotched his arrow. With the threat gone Beorn nudged her toward the door. "Get in the house," he told her giving her no choice, standing in the doorway to watch as the elves made their retreat. "Do not return to our home," he told them both, blaming the she elf for drawing the other near, "you will not be welcomed." He waited until they disappeared between the trees before closing and barring the door, turning to Dolraw to find her sitting tiredly near the fire. "What were you thinking?" he asked her as knelt beside her. "He might have killed you." _

"_He didn't," was her only answer. Her heart still beat furiously in her chest from close she'd come to having an arrow stuck through it, at how close she had come to death. _

_Beorn looked down at her soft eyes, seeing the words she did not say; she could not bear the thought of living in a world he didn't, and so it had never been a thought whether she would sacrifice herself for him. She loved him. Without a word he pulled her to his chest, holding her gently as he fought to silently tell her he loved her too. And he realized then, that he did love her so very much._

* * *

She unhappily kept pace with them as they ran over the long field toward her trees, biting at the dwarves' ankles to urge them faster – knowing Beorn might have one of them between his teeth before he saw her. As greatly as she wished to leave the dwarves and make for Beorn she knew Gandalf was right, with Azog so near Beorn would not care for the safety of anyone but her's – and so though every muscle in her body ached to turn and run for him at the sound of his furious roar at finding the Company headed for their home, she continued on through the trees, over the garden she had planted and let run wild for the bees they had gathered, and on toward their home.

Beorn roared again even angrier, and she could nearly feel his desire to tear into the dwarves – he greatly disliked them, and their stink was so strong it covered hers. And so greatly surprised was he when he burst through the line of trees to see his lion at their side that he paused and stared at her confounded. She turned to see him, her heart swelling as she stood on two legs hoping now the dwarves were already past the gate that she might be allowed to stay with him. Though Gandalf, knowing Beorn would want her inside – minus the dwarves – grabbed her arm and pulled her after him, spurring the bear after them in a terrible rage. "Open the door!" the wizard urged them panicked, holding fast the struggling woman as she tried to pull herself from his grasp. When Thorin finally lifted the latch and the dwarves tumbled inside, Gandalf ran in as quickly as he could with Dolraw resisting – and she stood staring so sad as Beorn tried to get in, tried to force his way into his home so that he may have her. Though the dwarves, thinking he meant to kill them – which in that moment he very much did mean to kill them for they were standing in the way of his lion – forced the door closed, not realizing they had separated the two once more.

* * *

**_I was so very hoping to get to their reunion this chapter, I had even planned where I would stop - but this chapter kind of got away from me a little bit and it turned it a lot longer than I realized it would. So I'm very sorry for making you all wait another chapter for them to finally be reunited, but I guess that means now I can do their first meeting justice, and make it as long as I want - or else they'll literally be at Beorn's for like one chapter before they leave again. So I might do more details and talking, and add in my own ideas of what I hope is in the extended edition of the movie. And just all around sweetness, because the span between the flashbacks and present hobbit time is about 10 years or so (cause she's really young in the flashbacks) and her and Beorn are very much in love during the hobbit - so I'm quite excited to show how their relationship progressed._**


	13. I do my best but I'm made of mistakes

The dwarves set the wood in place barring the bear from entering. "What is that?" Ori asked Gandalf, that having been far larger than any natural bear.

"That is our host," he answered looking at Dolraw behind him, knowing this was entirely unfair to her for she had been waiting weeks to see him again. "His name is Beorn, and he is a skin changer."

Thorin looked for Dolraw and stared at her in surprise, seeing from her sad face as she stared at the door that this was her home – and the bear her husband. Though he took his eyes from her as he looked about the large home, climbing a step and finding a large table; wonderfully carved animals on nearly everything, and every once in a while his eyes would catch sight of a lion, always with the bear.

"Sometimes he's a huge black bear, sometimes he's a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with. However, he is not over fond of dwarves," Gandalf warned them, frightening them all into remembering their manners; for the giant angry bear was not something they wished to be faced with.

Beorn gave a dismayed growl before heading back to the woods, realizing he was being forced in protecting them all if he wished for her safety. "He's leaving," Ori said, his ear to the door.

"Come away from there," Dori said greatly unhappy, dragging his brother away. "It's not natural, none of it. It's obvious he's under some dark spell." At the sound of a low growl he turned to find the woman they'd thought to be a lion, her blazing eyes a strange gold. "I meant no offense to you, lady lion," he said quickly, for he had grown rather fond of her – when he had thought she was lion. Now he was unsure what to think of her, only that she was strange and a most formidable foe.

"Don't be a fool," Gandalf said placing himself between the dwarf and the lion he'd angered. "He's under no enchantment but his own. Now get some sleep all of you, you'll be safe here tonight."

Dolraw turned from Dori at the feel of fur brushing against her legs, and she pet the goat they'd stumbled upon – Beorn having found him bleating alone when he was so very little. "You can sleep there," she told the Company pointing a large place on the floor covered in hay, and the dwarves stared at her confounded at the realization that this was her home. "There's wood there to start a fire if you need it." She returned to the door and undid the bar.

"What are you doing, anything could get in," Dwalin demanded.

With a hard eye she turned to him. "With me inside he will not let any near, and when they have gone he will return. Unless you are saying he has no right to his home," she challenged, watching Dwalin sigh angrily before nodding. She turned to walk away, hoping for a bath before she settled in their bed waiting for when Beorn would return, but Thorin's hand on her arm stilled her.

"Were you planning to tell us this was your home?" he asked, knowing she was greatly unhappy at being home without the bear; and he could not blame her, he'd noticed the bear pause at the sight of her, could still see the yearning in her eyes.

She looked around at their home, filled with animals and wooden pictures – filled with everything but the one thing she wanted. "Does it matter?" she asked tiredly. "You have shelter and food, though he is unwilling you have guardian to protect you."

He nodded hearing the irritation in her voice, and for all she had done for them – for all she had almost lost, she was still trying to be patient with him. "I must ask you, and I do not wish for you to feel obligated in answering yes," he told her, watching her brows furrow in wondering as she waited for what he would ask. "In Bag End, when Gandalf first introduced you, he said you would continue with us as far as your home unless asked otherwise. Does that still stand true?"

She stared down at the dwarf king, seeing it had taken much of his pride to ask even that and finding herself sighing heavily. "I was not honest with you the entirety of our travels," she said. "I had wished to leave you all behind to the orcs and goblins."

"You didn't," he told her, one of the reasons he was asking this of her. "You stayed and fought for us, put yourself between the hobbit and a warg knowing it would leave you before Azog. Loyalty, honor, a willing heart; you are more than I had ever asked for."

She stood feeling strangely touched, it having been so very long since she had cared for another person save Beorn. "If I remember correctly you did not ask for me," she said curling the corners of his mouth. "I will have to ask Beorn, I make no guarantees he will agree," she told him and he nodded. "You should rest, I do not know when you will be told to leave." And with that she left him to the others, drawing a bath and washing herself clean of the blood and grime of the goblin-town, and she laid in their bed waiting for when he would finally return.

…

_The two spent the remaining months of winter in their large home, Dolraw finishing the mattress and sewing the end before Beorn helped her put it on the frame he'd made. "It's quite soft," she said lying beside him as they laid on it for the first time. _

_He turned his head to look at her. "Do you like it?" he asked, hearing the uncertainty in her voice as she moved her back around on the mattress. _

"_I don't know," she answered honestly. "I've never had a bed before. Do you like it?" she asked turning to him, finding his face barely a breath away from her own and she smiled gently. _

_He rolled toward taking her in his arms, running his hand gently along her still tender side. "I have no complaints," he told her, finding his sore back rather enjoyed the softness of the bed. _

_She turned in on him resting her head on his chest as they simply laid there. "I should make us a pillow," she said realizing she had forgotten they were required for beds. _

"_Just a pillow?" he asked coyly. _

_A glance up at his face showed the quirking of his lips and she smiled as she rested her cheek on her hand. "Only a pillow," she agreed. "I will probably sleep as such," she said, her head once more on his chest. _

"_I would not object," he told her warmly, his deep voice grumbling in his chest beneath her ear. _

_There wasn't a word that described how she felt; content, warm, safe, even happy – at least not a word she said aloud, a simple word with only four letters that spoke of everything she felt. _

…

_As snow melted into spring they began the plans of making a fence around the house – which left Beorn uprooting the trees around them until they had a large clearing with nothing but grass on the ground. With the wood from those trees he began constructing the fence, and Dolraw set about finishing smaller tasks – sewing a pillow, collecting flower seeds and planting them all around for a garden, collecting them food now that plants were blooming again, scouting the edge of their wood for signs of camp and then at night pilfering what she could without leaving the people she took from too low on stock. _

_She also set about making them clothes, for they both could not live nude for the rest of their days – it was very likely weary travelers might come across them, and if they had any hope of appearing as though they were both human they would need clothing; however Dolraw stumbled upon the problem of their being taller than the folks she pilfered from. Even the dress she had set aside for herself did not fit, her body too long, and so she cut the middle of it baring her stomach and she fitted the end to her hips. The problem, she found, was Beorn – for he was taller than even the elves. From several shirts she had taken she cut them into smaller strips before sewing them together, making it large enough to cover even his long back – his pants however, she made from the fur she sheared off the oxen; they had not been happy, not even in the slightest, but after some convincing they eventually sat still enough for her to strip them of their fur. _

_By the end of summer Beorn had the fence constructed and they both wore clothes when they were in their human skins; though the clothing was unconventional, for much of Dolraw's skin still showed, they were at least covered. It was during this time, as the days bled into autumn, that Dolraw came round the fence and peeked through the doorway. "I have something for you," she said with a sweet smile drawing him forward. _

_He set down the ax he used to chop wood for their fireplace and made for the gate, shooing the bees that had come with the blooming of her garden out of his sweaty face. At the sight of what she had brought him he stilled, staring at the beautiful ponies walking curiously behind her. _

"_I found them wandering near our trees, they were looking for a home for both of their females are pregnant and I told them of our home," she said smiling at the awe on his face. "Tis good I told you to make the fence larger." _

_He looked down at her with no words to express the pounding in his heart. He grabbed the back of her head and brought her mouth to his, his hand wound in her wild blonde hair. After several moments of simply holding her to him he pulled her away and stared at a face he found more beautiful than any other. "I love you woman," he told her softly, nearly losing the nerve before the words left his tongue. _

_She stared up at him utterly devoted in every way smiling gently as she touched his face. _

…

Bilbo laid on his small pile of hay unable to sleep, his mind churning with too many thoughts to find rest. And so at the sound of the door opening he pushed himself further in his spot and watched as the skin changer entered the home, breathing deeply as he gazed unhappily at the piles of dwarves on his floor. Bilbo lay silently, hoping the man could not see he was watching, and Bilbo heard the soft click of Dolraw's claws as she left the bedroom and stood on two legs before him. Bilbo lay amazed at the sight of the lion's fur shrinking into skin and a woman stand as though she had been there the whole time.

It was quite an intimate scene Bilbo was witness to, one he could not force his eyes from. As baffling as it was to see Dolraw as a woman, Bilbo could not help but believe as she stood before the man – the top of her head just below his shoulders so tall was he – that it was the most natural thing in the world.

She stared up Beorn bare and unashamed as he gently touched her face, soaking in the feeling of being home with him once more. After ten years with Beorn she could barely remember why she had ever agreed to leave. It was a moment, a short sweet moment before fire licked their bones and he pulled her into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist as he walked to their room.

It was many long moments of desired filled yearning, of the fear she had felt at almost being taken by Azog again, of his constant worry for weeks that he would not see her returned; all of this they buried in each other, their sounds muffled beneath their greedy mouths. Until several minutes later they lay entwined breathing deeply, their heartbeats settling into unison as they came to rest.

"I should not have left," she said first, admitting what he'd told her weeks ago.

He lay with her over his chest, his arm around her back as he drew patterns in her skin. That day he remembered very clearly, she had returned from the edge of their wood confused and anxious, telling of a man named Gandalf – the grey wizard Radagast had spoken of when he stayed with them a short time – and his request that she join him on a quest. His first answer had been of course no, though with such sweet words of promises to return the moment they drew near he had given her what she asked. "Will you continue on with them?" he asked as gently as he was capable; for he did not like dwarves even a little, and he did not want her with them.

She laid against him and sighed, not knowing whether she wished to or not. "Ask me in the morning," she told him softly.

"Why in the morning?" he asked not liking the sound of it for it sounded so very much like a yes.

Her fingers ran through the hair on his chest, her skin remembering the feel of his as she lay against him; this was home, there was nowhere else she would ever want to go. And yet she could not imagine leaving them now, could not imagine not seeing Thorin succeed in his quest and return as king to his own home. "I might have a better answer then."

With a sigh he pulled her closer. "You grew fond of them," he said realizing of course that would be the reason she continued on, for she wouldn't leave him otherwise.

"They're not entirely bad," she admitted, and nor did she think so. "They grew fond of me, and they still trusted me even when they learned I was not a lion. But there is one, he is there leader, I would continue only for him."

If he had been anyone else, and if she had been another woman, he might have grown concerned by her words – but they were not of love, for she would only ever be capable of loving him. They were words of admiration. "He must be a great dwarf to have captured your loyalty."

"Aye," she answered. "He is strong and brave, and hard. And so very sad. He reminds me of you sometimes, of what you might've been like if you had more than me."

He pulled her face to his so that she was looking at him, so that she would see his words as he spoke them. "I only ever needed you."


	14. yes there are things I'm

Dolraw woke the moment Beorn moved, her body after so many weeks without him alerted her to his pulling away. "Where are you going?" she asked softly, her arms around his back as she curled into his warmth.

He nearly smiled as he ran a hand over her hair, unwinding her arms as he nuzzled against her gently. "We have guests, more wood will be needed for a fire," he told her, as unwilling as she to leave the warmth of her side – but though he greatly disapproved of guests in his home he would not be inhospitable, especially if she did plan to continue with them further.

She had pulled the blanket closer, curling tighter in on herself as she settled once more into sleep – it having been weeks since she had slept warm and safe in a bed. Though it was hardly minutes before she rolled on her back sighing irritably at finding she was now completely awake, her right arm held out on Beorn's side reaching for him. It was then, realizing she would not fall back asleep now that he was not at her side, that she stretched and stood before dressing, making the bed as Beorn refused to, and walking out into the main room where the dwarves serenaded her with the orchestra of their snoring. She looked down to see one of their dogs staring up at her pitifully, obviously as unhappy with their guests as Beorn – without anything else to do she patted her head before opening and closing the door behind her quietly.

He turned at the soft sound of her footsteps behind him, the corners of his mouth lifting at the feel of her hands on his waist as she leaned against his back. "We have guests," he reminded her when he felt her mouth on his shoulder; another time they might have changed skins and spent the remainder of the day warming in the sun, might have lain together after so many days apart.

But he was right, and with an unwilling sigh she unwound her arms from him and sat near where he stood watching as he resumed cutting wood for a fire. "Will you go with them?" he asked, it being the morning and her still without an answer she could make happily.

She would regret leaving, missing Beorn worrying for his state of mind as he constantly worried for her; but she would regret staying, never ceasing to worry over what fate the dwarves received. No matter what she chose they would be great unhappiness, and most of it would be hers. "If I am asked," she said finally, leaving the decision to Thorin for though he expressed the want of her in his Company he had not requested it.

"And if I asked you to stay?" He turned to her knowing the troubled look on her face, knowing this was a decision she was not making lightly – and he was forced to wonder who this dwarf was for her to feel such loyalty to him.

In all honesty she had no answer to that, none she would admit. It wasn't a question at all, if he asked her not to go with the Company then she wouldn't; it was as simple as that. But he was not asking her to stay, he would not ask her for he knew she would do as he wished – it frustrated her that he was leaving this to her to decide, not offering his own feelings or displeasure. Beorn was the only one with the right to ask anything of her. Thorin had no right to ask her to continue with them, had no right to ask her for anything – she would go with him if he asked, she had stayed him thus far out of fondness, but he bore no right. "They have a hobbit," she said suddenly, finding that she could not remember why she had ever wanted to leave Beorn. "Bilbo, he's really very kind. A gentle heart, you would happily take him as a guest in our home."

"I have no doubt," he told her, watching the disappointment settle on her face that he would not give her his thoughts on the matter. He sighed before kneeling beside her. "You want to go," he said, "I can see it in your eyes." And he could, it was so clear for him to see as looked down at her; he knew the thoughts in her mind, she had once had many brothers and he knew these dwarves reminded her greatly of them.

This was the sight that was seen when the door was opened, a large man on his knees before their lion woman kissing her almost desperately before he released her. Gandalf cleared his throat and nodded to the dwarves firmly. "Remember to wait until I call or whistle, and only come in pairs."

Beorn looked to the many people standing in his doorway and he growled a sigh before taking up his ax once more. "It would be best if you prepare them breakfast as they introduce themselves," he told her unhappily.

She may have smiled another time, if her mind was not so cluttered with worrying and wondering, but she simply stood and made for their home moving around the dwarves to get inside.

"G'morning lady lion," many of them greeted, a few of them using her name such as Bilbo. They all stared at her curious, seeing the thin expanse of her stomach and her long legs and muscular arms – her clothing hardly covered her at all, and yet somehow they could not bring to mind the thought of her in anything else.

Dolraw went to the kitchen, calling the dogs to her who happily came and gave their sweet hellos before helping her prepare a meal large enough to fill them – a meal the dwarves would enjoy, most likely not, but for hungry bellies it would do. Eventually though, after all of the dwarves were finally brought out and the end of the tale in the mountains reached Beorn invited them inside – needless to say, he made no attempt at making them feel welcome.

And though the entirely meatless, completely natural and grown food laid out before them did not look the least bit appetizing, they ate it as though it were – afraid to offend their hosts.

"So you are the one they call Oakenshield," Beorn said as he poured the dwarves milk, looking to the dwarf he realized Dolraw had grown fond of. "Tell me, why is Azog the defiler hunting you?"

Thorin was stilled by that question, wondering if Beorn knew of the orc in the same way as his wife. "You know of Azog, how?" he asked instead of answering.

Beorn's eyes hardened at the question, seeing the dwarf would say nothing of himself out of mistrust – no matter that he and his kin were guests in a home they had not been invited into. He turned to Dolraw finding her already beside him, glancing up at him wondering if he would maintain his hospitality or demand the dwarves leave – if only for her he sighed knowing he would help them. "You should prepare the ponies, they will not have much time," he told her softly, a hand lingering on her arm for he still did not know whether she would leave with them. He watched as she left, not wishing for her to hear the terrible words he would speak – not wanting her to remember the horror they had left behind. "My people were the first to live in the mountains, Dolraw's came years later," he answered Thorin, "before the orcs came down from the north. The Defiler killed most of my family, but some he enslaved. Not for work, you understand, but for sport. Caging skin-changers and torturing them seemed to amuse him."

"That is when he took her?" Thorin chanced asking, finding a burning hatred in his chest at the thought of what Azog had done to her, knowing she had faced the torture the bear spoke of.

Beorn shook his head. "I do not know when he found her people, I only know he killed them all and kept her for himself. A mighty warrior he wished to make of her, following the rule of none but his own; he did not stand for the others touching her. She was fortunate in that way."

Thorin looked up at him appalled at such words. "How is that fortunate?" he demanded, knowing from Azog's name alone Dolraw had been defiled.

"Better one than them all," Beorn told the small dwarf king bitterly, creating a complete silence at the table as the dwarves realized exactly what torture she had received; a terrible thought, for their lion was so kind and gentle with them – such cruelty she had known.

"There are others like you?" Bilbo asked, finding he could not stand to think a moment longer of Dolraw finding any harm from the large pale orc; she had shown him more kindness than any of the others, more warmth and nurturing.

He grew somber as he remembered his kin, the wife he had once had – that he had ceased thinking of for it hurt Dolraw greatly though she would never admit it. "Once there were many."

"And now?" Bilbo asked though he could guess the answer, it was written on the man's weary face, heard plain in his cold voice – as though all the warmth in him had been taken when Dolraw stepped out of the house.

Beorn turned back to the small hobbit, seeing the gentleness Dolraw had grown so attached to; it would not surprise him if she continued on only for him. "Now there is only us."

* * *

_I'm sorry for how short this is, allergies are kicking my behind this week - I mean seriously, I can't keep a train of thought, and then the world starts spinning. So I'm also sorry if at any point something in the chapter didn't make sense, or I kind of repeated myself - I'm not quite "all there" at the moment. Also I'm kind of on the fence about Dolraw continuing with the dwarves, I'm leaning more toward her going with them only because I have a few ideas - so if you guys have any thoughts, suggestions, ideas of your own, please share them - they would be incredibly welcome. As always, thank you all so very much for reading._


	15. I'm still quite sure of

Dolraw stood outside of the door listening as Beorn spoke, hearing the echo of a lifetime of sadness that no matter how she tried she could not take from him. She knew why he'd asked her to prepare the ponies, she knew he had not wished for her to hear him speak of their time imprisoned by the orcs – it did not matter that she had been the one to save them, that she had been stronger than him, he still wished to shield her from it.

The only saddle they had for their ponies was one for their horse; Beorn had found him wandering wounded and starved, his master's camp having been found by orcs – he had come with a saddle and reins, and so it was him she prepared, petting the ponies when they came to butt their heads against her in a happy greeting. She did not turn at the sound of the door opening, at the dwarves coming out and gathering near seeing there were ten ponies for them to ride; though they did not dare complain, for they would be outrun without Beorn's help. And so the smallest of them, which was Bilbo, Fili and Kili and Ori, would ride in pairs.

Thorin moved to stand at Dolraw's side and looked up at her uncertain face. "You will come if I ask," he said already knowing it to be true, and wishing it were not for it would make it easier for him.

"Do you want me to?" she asked him, raising his brows as he continued to look at her.

He did not know how to answer that, or least he did not wish to. "I do not wish for you to feel a duty to me, it was never meant to be."

"But do you want me to?" she asked again, interrupting him watching as he turned away.

There were so many reasons why she should not continue with them, and the main reason was staring down at him a distance away watching his lion closely. But he was selfish and stubborn, and he grown more fond of her than he had realized; enough that instead of turning away from the strange magic she possessed to be part lion, he embraced it. He had seen her fight, seen how lethal a foe she would be – and he had seen how viciously loyal she was to his company. How could he possibly wish to leave her when she had given him every reason he desired her to go with him. "I would be most grateful for your companionship," he said finally, admitting his fondness for her as much as he was able.

She might have smiled at his stubbornness, she almost did smile, until she turned to Beorn and saw his somber face. Thorin watched as she stepped toward her husband, realizing she still must ask to leave – and he turned away. If he saw the pain in either of their eyes at her leaving, saw the almost desperate way Beorn held her as they spoke, he would order her to remain here knowing all the horror they had faced before they had finally found happiness. It was several moments before she walked to where he now sat atop his pony, and he turned to her waiting for her word.

"I will not journey to the Mountain," she said, having already known Beorn would not allow it, "I will take you through the forest and see you on your way but I will go no further."

Thorin nodded in understanding knowing Beorn could have refused entirely. "I must agree," he admitted. "As great as you are, a lion would be no help against a dragon." Her brows rose surprised by his words and she laughed lightly before shaking her head. "What are you doing?" he asked as he watched her pull the shirt from her shoulders, forcing his eyes away from her now bared chest, knowing if he turned back to her he would see the bottom half of the dress pooled at her feet.

"Do you expect me to wear this as a lion?" she retorted amused by the slight pinkening of his cheeks – he was so noble, so honorable. He turned to her startled when she put the clothes in his hands, looking down at them as though he did not know what to do with them. "Do not put them in your bag, you have a habit of losing them," she said.

He gave her a sharp look before tucking the folded clothes in his jacket and watching as her skin turned to fur, revealing the lion that had been beneath the flesh all along. Looking down into her now blue eyes he was forced once more to wonder how he had not known she was human, it was so clear in her face – in the depths of her eyes, humanity swirled in them. And he wondered if she were not a skin changer would these be the blue eyes that stared at him, rather than the amber ones he had seen moments before.

"Go now while you have the light," Beorn urged them, meeting Dolraw's eye before she turned away guiltily. "Your hunters are not far behind." He turned toward their trees knowing the orcs were waiting on their wargs for the dwarves to leave so they could overtake them. Leaving the home untended could be disastrous, if Azog were still with them he would burn it to the ground before following them – but if Beorn were to ensure the orcs did not run down the Company before they reached the wood, taking Dolraw captive, then he would have to leave it up to chance and hope the orcs were in too much of a hurry to bother with the home. And so Beorn ushered the animals inside, animals that crawled or flew, and he shut them in before following a distance behind the Company.

They kept a great pace through the day, seeing from the top of a hill the great expanse of the forest still so very far away. And though they did not wish to, though they knew the orcs were behind them, they rested when night fell for their ponies needed it to continue on the next morn.

"No fire," Thorin ordered, he would not have them making a target of themselves in this great expanse – no sign of the orcs had been seen nor smelled, yet the threat of them was felt very deeply. "Dolraw," he called to the lion, sitting against a rock as he made to keep watch. "I would have your eyes, if you do not mind."

"I do not," she said sitting beside him, stretching her long legs beside his and taking his coat when he offered it to her. "We will reach the wood by midday tomorrow, we covered much ground."

Thorin nodded, having been impressed with the urgency in which the ponies had run. "It were as though the orcs had been chasing directly behind us."

She smiled softly. "Yes, I told them of the danger. They understood they needed to be quick."

He turned to her with furrowed brows wondering if she realized how strange a thing it was to say so casually that she spoke to the animals, but he only his shook his head and looked out at the expanse before him; much of it he could not see, Azog himself could be standing a hundred feet in front of him and he would not see him. "You do not seem concerned of our hunters," he said, finding that he was not half so worried when she sat beside him so calm. Somehow he had come to know her, he knew her enough to know when she was worried or anxious or could feel a living creature was very near hunting them; and he knew her well enough to feel ease at seeing her calm. She was right, he had not asked for her, and yet she had become someone he relied on someone he trusted with his life.

"Your safety is my own," she answered, having guessed after the first league why there was no sign of the orcs, having felt him following them. It was his presence that had her so calm knowing he would keep them all safe.

Thorin nodded when he understood, having almost guessed the same as she. "Has he followed you the entirety of our journey?" he asked realizing that was a very real possibility, for even now knowing there was a bear attached to their lion he had still seen no sign of Beorn.

Dolraw shook her head. "I do not know for sure, though it would explain why he had been at the Carrock on that particular morn. He could not have followed behind us on the mountain path, not without being noticed." It was something she had wondered after returning home, for Beorn should not have been at the Carrock – he would not have left their home and their trees completely unguarded, not if he too were returning. But there were so many times he would have stepped in, when Radagast had startled them unless he had seen him before the others, when they had been chased by the wargs and their orc riders. It left her having no answer, for he very well could have followed her and yet still he might not have.

He turned to her, taking in the sight of her wild blonde hair curled and tangling in the manner of a mane; her face softened in the moonlight. She did not look like a lion, her face not one that could rip a creature's throat out with her teeth – she was a woman thinking of her husband, a woman made soft and kind by her love for him. "Spend the night with him," he told her softly, meeting her surprised eyes with own gentle ones. "Go," he said giving a small laugh as he looked at the land before them, knowing she'd find her bear. And when next he turned to her he found a lion, and he smiled as she nuzzled her head against his cheek before trotting off.

It was not long before she found Beorn, the place Thorin had thought Azog could have stood being very close to where the bear lay watching the land in front of him. They said nothing, for they both kept their skin and it did not allow them to speak the words they might have if they had been human. But she curled herself against him, licking his face tiredly before settling into sleep. He laid still with her warm against him, listening to the soothing sound of her purring contently. Several times he had noted her smile at something Thorin had said, at the obvious bond that had grown between them over the weeks when the dwarf had thought she was only a lion; he reminded her of someone, but Beorn did not think it was himself. She rarely spoke of her intended, a sad look would enter her eye and her jaw would wire shut; it was that first time he had asked her of the lion man, after they had settled in their home, and seen her inability to speak of him – at feeling the sharp pain in his chest at the thought of her loving another – that he never again asked, nor did he speak of his wife. And he wondered if perhaps this man, that Beorn had not and never would know, was whom the dwarf king reminded her. But he would never ask, years ago they had cast aside the lives they might once have lived – settling into the life they had made themselves and taking the happiness they found in each other.

So he sat quietly without moving so as not to wake her, watching over her and her group of dwarves until the sky began to lighten with dawn. Gently he nudged her with his great head waking her, watching as she reached her arms and bent her back as she stretched before she sat beside him and licked his face. Quite some time she did this, the sun just barely beginning to purple the sky when he pushed her to her feet and mounted her; if she were to leave, if there were even the remote possibility he might not see her again, then he would have her a last time.

And for several long moments they continued, too far from the others to be heard – their soft growls and her purring, the human moans they made when their fur shrunk into skin and he turned her on her back.

He lay over her breathing deeply as he stared down at her, feeling her hands running along his back. "Do not go in that Mountain," he told her again, unwilling to allow it for what was a lion to do when faced with a dragon.

"Through the wood," she swore to him, "and then I will return. The whole world could fall apart and I don't believe I would leave you again."

He kissed her softly before letting her up, pulling her suddenly to his chest as he held her tightly. "I will hold you to that," he mumbled in her hair.

She smiled looking up at him, tracing the plains of his face as she tried to remember why she was leaving him again. With a last kiss she changed her skin once more and trotted back to the Company, hearing the ponies whinny in greeting as she gently nuzzled her head beneath Thorin's chin. He blinked blearily before turning to her, rubbing her head briefly before standing and waking the others. Though as hard as he stared toward the small wood Beorn and Dolraw lived, Thorin did not see the bear – he knew Beorn was watching them, was guarding his lion, but he would not be seen.

With great haste they continued on, Durin's Day drawing ever nearer as they slowly grew closer to Erebor. And as Dolraw had told him the night before, they reached the dark wood by noon.

* * *

_I hope this chapter is better put together than the last one, I think it is but I'm not quite sure. I'm not sure if anyone actually remembers this, because it was only talked about once; but Dolraw had been engaged. I never went into detail on Beorn's wife, or how long they'd been married - however I'll say now, I'm thinking 3-5 years; so enough that losing her broke his heart. But I will be going into more detail on who Dolraw was supposed to marry, that will happen later and will actually probably be a conversation between her and Thorin; because they've become quite the comrades. And I really hope it's not coming across as romantic - I have a tendency of doing that especially with Thorin, cause well he's Thorin and I think he's great. _


	16. I love you this hour

"The Elven Gate," Gandalf said as they stopped outside the bare twisted trees, their lifeless barren stalks glaring ominously at the Company. "Here lies our path through Mirkwood."

Dolraw stood sniffing the air trying to catch scent of anything on the wind, but smelling nothing but decaying trees – the wood was as she remembered, a dark magic plaguing it and its creatures. It was a show of great loyalty that she had thought of walking through these trees and still decided to continue on with them.

"No sign of the orcs, we have luck on our side," Dwalin said as he jumped down from his pony.

Thorin looked down at Dolraw as she looked up at him, sharing a look that said they both knew very well why the orcs had not come; and Gandalf, who had given Dwalin a sharp look, noticed the bear a distance away. "Set the ponies loose, let them return to their master," he bid the dwarves.

Dolraw turned to look behind them seeing Beorn watching them quietly, his eyes fastened on her as the ponies were relinquished. They whinnied confused for Dolraw was staying, and she was as much their master as Beorn – with a nod and a growl from the lion the ponies trotted toward the bear. He would be leaving now, Dolraw thought as she watched Beorn turn and walk back toward their wood, casting her a reluctant glance often before he was too far from sight. A hand on her head had her looking up and she found Gloin standing beside her patting her head sympathetically, for out of them all save Balin he was the only one who understood the ache of leaving behind a spouse – and they had all seen so very clearly the amount of devotion between the bear and the lion. Beorn looking at Dolraw as though she were the sun, and Dolraw looking at him as though he rose and set it.

She paced in front of the gate and Gandalf ventured in, offering no help to the dwarves as they pulled their packs on their backs – she had not come to help with their burden, she had come as a means of defense and she would be useless if she travelled through these woods as anything but a lion. Already several different kinds of creatures sat out of sight watching the Company; some animals she knew, squirrels rabbits little scurrying things, bugs of all sorts, and some animals she didn't. Her tail flicked back and forth and her eyes were nearly black as she watched the wood closely, her ears twitching as she listened to the dwarves behind her and Gandalf in front of her and the creatures around them.

Her attention from the things around them was stolen when Gandalf hurried back to them. "Not my horse, I need it," he said loudly, obviously in the need for hurry.

"You're not leaving us?" Bilbo asked, echoing the thought in all their minds; what would they do without their wizard, thrice now they would be dead without him.

She crept to where the horse stood waiting to leave or continue, it mattered little for he was quite used to travel. Without drawing notice she changed her skin and whispered words half animal in his ear, bidding him to take the wizard where he wished to go without fuss – but the moment Gandalf got down he was to return home, no hesitating should his rider need more, no stopping before he reached the house. And as quickly as she had been a woman she was a lion once more and she stood beside Thorin, the only one who had taken note of where she'd gone. He had known this day would come, for Gandalf had spoken of other matters that might call him away; Thorin wasn't any happier though, he stood begrudging the wizard for the ill-convenienced time in which he'd chosen to depart.

"I thank you very kindly for having come when I asked," Gandalf told Dolraw when he'd finished speaking with the hobbit, knowing they all had much to thank her for and they would continue thanking her for she did not seem willing to leave them just yet. With a gentle hand he rubbed behind her ear and bid her a soft farewell, hoping she would find her way back to her bear without meeting any harm. "I'll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and key safe. Do not enter that mountain without me," he told Thorin firmly, knowing the sickness that lay in the gold and how strong it would be in Thorin above anyone else. "This is not the Greenwood of old, the very air of the forest is heavy with illusion that will seek to enter your mind and lead you astray. You must stay on the path, do not leave it. If you do, you'll never find it again," he warned them as he turned his horse in the opposite direction and spurred him forward. "No matter what may come, stay on the path!" he called before the kicked the horse to a gallop.

Dolraw was not so much worried for the creatures that lay in the wood, at least not entirely – Beorn had told her of the things Tauriel had said, the evil creatures of the forest did not venture on the elven path; some strange magic was laid in it, as Beorn said gruffly and distrusting.

No, so long as they remained on the path there was little to worry – save the elves who had made it. They were the things she worried for most, they would not take kindly to dwarves she knew, and they would not take kindly to her either. Her kind was not welcomed, she would be looked upon as a threat; even then she could recall the fire in the blonde elf's stark blue eyes as he made to kill Beorn, stopping only in startlement at finding a wounded woman.

"Come on," Thorin said, a hand brushing over her head calling her attention back to the Company as he walked to the gate, "we must reach the mountain before the sun sets on Durin's Day. Let's go, we've got one chance to find the hidden door."

One by one they all stepped beneath the gate and into the wood, the light growing dimmer and dimmer around them and the air growing warmer and thicker until their lungs had to peel the oxygen from the stench of decaying wood so they could breathe. A long and endless path it was, twisting around trees, forcing them to stoop or climb over a large root running across the path. And on and on they went, stopping frequently to ensure they were still on the path, and several times they had to decide which way was the right one. Dolraw's nose was useless, for the ground smelled the same in every direction, and her eyes were as well for most of the time it did not look as though there were stone under their feet marking the path. Hours they spent winding through the wood, they could have gotten lost at any point without ever realizing it; should they lose their way they would spend days or weeks or even months before they ever found the other side – though they would never go south, Dolraw refused it. Thorin had turned down one way, thinking it was the correct path though it led directly south, and Dolraw had snapped her jaws growling in warning. For several long moments he stood staring down at her with hard eyes before he turned to the others. "We don't go south," he told them before turning in the other direction and taking that way – which by luck would have it, was the right way.

Hours more they continued on, the sun slipping past noon and began its descent in the sky as the day drew on, and Dolraw heard the soft snap of a twig – so quiet and gentle it did not bother the others for they had hardly heard it. But she had, for it was not the sound of an animal scurrying to keep pace with them, curious of the strange creatures walking the path – it was the sound of a footstep, a very quiet step not meant to have been noticed. She hesitated several moments, having realized almost ten minutes before they were going in circles, before she stepped from the path they were on and crept silently toward the sound.

She kept an ear trained on the dwarves, ready to dart back to them to warn them of a foe, and the other for any sound around her. It was because she was still listening for her dwarves, that she was taken by surprise; for she might have felt the eyes staring at her from in a tree, might have heard the quiet sound of breathing. But she did not realize how near she was until it jumped down behind her, grabbing her neck and forcing her on two feet leaving her little choice but to shift skin so as to breathe.

"Where is your bear?" a familiar feminine voice hissed in her ear.

Dolraw turned with wide eyes to her captor to find the red haired elf who had forsaken orders to help her and Beorn so many years before.

…

Thorin walked dizzily with a lightness in his head, losing his balance and swaying as they continued on the path. "Dolraw," he called wanting her by his side, if not to assure they were going the right way then to comfort him with her nearness. "Dolraw," he called again when she did not come, and he stopped to look behind him for her. He shoved the dwarf in his way to better look, pushing through the line of them until he reached the end and still not seeing her.

"Where is she?" Ori asked pitifully, hoping she was not lost for they would never find this place.

Many others had the same thought, Bilbo, Fili and Kili, Balin and Bofur. But there were others who were of a different mind. "She's left us," Dwalin growled, knowing he should not blame her but the pounding in his head made him despise the now vanished lion.

His words sent a panic through them for they now felt very vulnerable without their lion to listen or smell for any sign of trouble, without the feel of her rubbing against them briefly or keeping watch at night. They spoke things such as; 'she wouldn't leave us' or 'she returned to her bear and left us to this accursed forest, or even a small 'we should look for her, what if she had found trouble.' "Enough," Thorin yelled quieting them all. "She must have heard something and is now scouting around us to ensure we are safe. And do you not remember her in the goblin town, she was a better fighter than the lot of us, there is no need to worry. We will continue on, she'll find us." With those words the dwarves settled unhappily before listening to their king, beginning once more to navigate through the long winding path that never seemed to end. Though no matter how many times they looked behind them or around them she did not return, and then they stumbled upon an even more pressing matter.

"Nori why have we stopped?"

"The path, it's disappeared."

…

Dorlaw walked beside Tauriel as she was led through the wood. "Do not make me lead you by leash," she had warned the lion woman, seeing in her tense body she was ready to shift skins and run back to the dwarves. And so Dolraw had reluctantly agreed, knowing the elf could very well put an arrow in her leg and drag her the rest of the way – she did not think this particular elf would do such a thing, but there were others who might, and so she had given up the thought of escaping knowing the dwarves would now be captured as well.

Tauriel hoped to keep the woman as she was, knowing the sight of an unclothed woman would be more welcome than a lion; though she knew there was little hope for it, she had seen the way Beorn half changed his skin in his threatened rage years before.

"What are you doing with her?" Legolas asked when the two reached the gate, staring at the woman untrusting and curious.

Dolraw stood not knowing the words they spoke, feeling curious distrustful eyes scouring her body as she stood still; oh how she wished to change her skin and crouch low to the ground, better able to defend herself if need be.

"You will wait here," Tauriel.

She stared after the elf, the only one she knew would do her no arm, as she left her alone beneath the hot eyes of the others. The dwarves would most certainly be caught now, for they had lost their path and were now going in circles – if they had not been discovered by other dangerous creatures before.

It was many long minutes turning into an hour and then more before she heard the sound of feet coming closer; and she nearly sighed with relief at seeing all of the dwarves as unhappy as they were. And they all saw their woman standing with several elves around her – Legolas having told them she was the bear's lion – discovering that she had not been lost or taken by the spiders. Though they realized with their lion captured their help must come from the hobbit, who they had lost before the elves had come.

"You are well?" Thorin asked when he past her, the elves behind her nudging her forward leaving the two to walk behind the others.

"They fear me," she told him feeling their eyes still watching her closely, their hands already reaching for their weapons in case she attacked.

He nearly smiled as he stared ahead of him. "As they should," he said wishing she had been with them when the elves had first come; with their lion they might have stood a chance against the elves, her teeth and claws tearing into their throats. But that was not to be for there they were being led roughly through the kingdom where they would be imprisoned.

Legolas stopped in front of the two and looked them over. "You will be brought before the king," he told them, nodding to the elves behind them.

Dorlaw had watched him closely, trusting him the least of them all, and shifted her skin and crouched low growling as arrows and swords were all aimed at her. Thorin had seen realization dawn on her face moments before the elves had followed their prince's silent order, and he'd turned the second Dolraw's skin gave way to fur and stood before her with her snarling at his back to face the guards now armed against their prisoners.

"Is this needed?" Tauriel asked, seeing now that they saw the lion they were even more fearful – and only Tauriel and Thorin knew that Dolraw was just as afraid, for she did not look it. She looked enraged, ready to kill.

Legolas gave Tauriel a hard look before motioning her after the dwarves and following her. The dwarf king and the lion were lead away from the others toward a great set of stairs leading to the elvenking's throne. She nearly walked under Thorin's feet she kept so close, watching all around her for which elf would attack them first, and though they all wished to slay the half beast before them they had not been given the order for her death. Thorin himself could do little for her, feeling the tension in the elves and their bow strings knowing they wished to kill her; they didn't know her, they hadn't seen her kindness or her gentle heart or the way she had cared for them all. They wished her dead simply for her strange enchantment, deeming her nothing more than a lowly beast too dangerous to trespass in their wood. He kept a hand on her neck keeping her close to him, willing to put himself in the path of an arrow for her, for she should never have left her bear – and she had left Beorn for Thorin himself. He would see her home, she would leave him alive – 'I will have your head if any harm befalls her' Beorn had sworn to him. It was a promise he was not in the position to keep, but he would die trying none the less.

Dolraw stood with her belly to the ground before the elvenking, the guards around her watching her ever closely in the fear of her attacking their king; but Thranduil raised a hand and all weapons were lowered, he looked upon the lion before him knowing her true form and he had deemed her no threat.

"Show me your face," he commanded gently, his ageless voice soft as he stared upon her curiously. With great reluctance and several moments of hesitation the lion finally did as told and he watched amazed as her golden fur shrank into tanned skin, a mane of tangled blonde hair, and a long body as she got to her feet. He had seen many things in his long life but never a skin changer, the woman was nothing more than a woman, but the lion had been so very beautiful.

She stood still as the elf climbed to his feet and descended toward her, his eyes passing over every inch of her skin taking note of every line that marred it; his long robes were cool and soft as they brushed against her when he moved around her, holding her hair to the side as he looked over the scars on her back. His son had told him of the half beasts that lived near their borders, of the bear and his lion – of the orcs who had once held the two captive. Such pain she had received, such horror.

"Release her," he ordered softly, watching as she turned to him with a lion's golden eyes. "You are welcome to come and go as you please, though I would caution you to chose the company you keep a bit wiser," he told her.

She knew he was excusing her having been with the dwarves, that this was a kindness for he knew of the cage she had once lived and he was being merciful to let her go – she looked to Thorin seeing the unhappiness in his eyes knowing she would leave them to return to her bear; and every right did she have, for the only thing she would receive should she stay and help them was another cage. And so she nodded to the elvenking, her voice failing her as her heart beat rampant in her chest, and she turned with an elf on either side of her and stepped beyond the gates, hearing as they closed heavy and loud behind her.

With a sigh she turned back to the wooden doors wondering if she should try to help them, if there were even a way – perhaps Bilbo, who she had smelled standing off to the side though she had not seen him, might find a way for them to escape. But she was free now, free to return to Beorn and live in peace and happiness with him til the end of their days with nothing to plague them; nothing but her worry for the stubborn dwarves she had left behind, her worry for Thorin for he so greatly deserved to return to his home and be king. And what a fine king he would be.

The path home lay ahead of her clear and inviting, and with a heavy heart filled with regret and guilt she stepped away from the path and moved deeper in the trees as she made her choice. She would not be returning home, for the dwarves still had need of her yet.


	17. This hour today

_Kaia: you say that as if she had a choice in whether she'd reveal herself to Thranduil. She had elves all around her armed and ready to kill her if she made to attack, as well as the Elvenking who is more than able to arm himself as well and kill her - and that's even if she reached him before one of the other elves killed her first. So she didn't have a choice, if he asked her to do something she would do it- I showed it with Azog, she knows how to survive and part of that submitting. It should come as no surprise that she did the same thing when faced with Thranduil, who could kill her or imprison her. So if Thranduil had asked her to get on her knees and suck his dick then she would get on her knees and open her damn mouth, because she had no choice in the matter. I'm not even going to apologize for the vulgarity of that sentence because I'm sure by now you realize I was incredibly offended by your comment, and saying 'sorry it's my opinion' doesn't excuse how incredibly rude you were; there were several other ways to make the same point without calling it bullshit. If you're going to say that my decision was bullshit you had better be in the right, and unfortunately for you you weren't. And do not use the review section to tell another person what they said in their review was wrong, and the person wasn't wrong - she didn't say Thranduil would harm her. Thranduil now knows Dolraw's a person, he now knows she had once been imprisoned and tortured - above all else he's an elf, he wouldn't harm her even if she did piss him off. He'd throw her in a cell, and at that point - after letting her go and basically telling her she can come and go so long as she's not with dwarves - he would have the right as the ruler of his kingdom to put her in a cell, whether or not Beorn's happy about it. And as strong as Beorn is, unless he broke into the kingdom when not a single elf was armed, I'm pretty sure one arrow to the heart or the head would kill him. _

_On a different note to all you other wonderful readers, this story might actually be coming near its end, maybe 5 or 6 chapters left. Thank you very much for reading, I'm hope you're still enjoying it._

* * *

"Where is Dolraw?" Ori had asked when Thorin was taken to his cell, causing all of the others to voice their worry over the fate that had befallen her.

Thorin sat against his cell knowing exactly where she was, and though he was greatly unhappy with the thought of her gone forever from their side he could not blame her. "She should be with her bear sometime soon," he answered his kin, hearing in their worry that they had grown quite fond of her.

The dwarves were silenced at that, having seen her surrounded by elves with their own eyes, they knew she would not leave them. "Was she released?" Balin chanced ask, though Thorin did not answer – still he did not understand why the elvenking had released her, from where his mercy had spawned when he'd had none when the dragon came.

"Only a fool would cage a lion, did you not see her in the goblin town," Dwalin said, remembering very well how lethal she was as both lion and woman. "And with her bear so near."

Many nodded at that, having seen Beorn in his bear form and knowing that was not a person they wished to anger – and nothing would ignite his rage more than knowing his lion was caged in the elven kingdom. "That's it then," Bofur said sadly, "our lion has returned home."

The dwarves quieted as they sat in their cells, wishing they had known her more, wishing they had returned her kindness and cared for her as she had for them; a small nudge she had given them when they tripped, a wet nose on their face to wake them, the warmth of her fur beside them, a gentle nuzzle against their cheek. They had not realized they would grow to care so greatly for the lion who sometimes wore a woman's skin, knowing it was right she had returned to her bear though they wished still she had stayed.

Thorin sat in his cell bidding himself recall a time when he had not wanted her on his quest, when the thought of a lion had worried him and he had watched her closely with a hand on the hilt of his ax should she make to attack. He could not, for even then knowing it was best she was gone for she would leave them regardless once they passed through the wood, he still wished for her at his side. How accustomed he had grown to feeling her beside him, at looking to her to see she was calm or whether something was drawing near, at feeling her laying beside him purring softly keeping watch with him. No, he did not begrudge her having returned to her home for she should never have left, but he was not happy to know she was gone now forever from his side – and he was left with so many things he wished to ask her.

And so he was greatly surprised when the next day they surged down the elven river in stolen barrels with their hunters having once more caught them, forcing the dwarves to arm themselves with whatever weapon they could find be it stick or orc weapon, that the sound of her roar reached his ear. He turned quickly to the sound of her to find a flash of gold and a shrieking orc before she was a woman taking up the weapon it had dropped before cutting into another orc in front of her, and then a lion she was once more tearing another orc's throat out with her teeth. On and on this went, her body moving too quickly for the orcs to arm themselves against her – for one would make to attack the lion and a woman would spring out of her thrusting a fallen sword into its belly. Or an orc would raise its sword to the woman and a lion would lunge, her claws tearing open his middle spilling his insides.

She followed them down river, felling the orcs that made for her, stopping the ones making to harm her dwarves. Her eyes were only taken from the orcs before her when she caught sight of an orc on the opposite bank with his eyes on Thorin, his sword in hand as he ran for the dwarf rushing downstream in his barrel. Thorin turned at the movement to his left seeing the orc moments too late as it lept from the bank, the point of its blade aimed for his head, and the breath left him when his lion sank her claws into the orc before it reached him. "Dolraw," he yelled as she fell into the river.

He searched the raging water for a sign of her golden fur, for her head breaking the surface so she could breathe – the orc rose to the surface, blood pooling around him, as he floated downstream. But there was no sign of the lion. In a blind hope he reached into the river on the chance he might feel her, and he heaved a sigh of relief at feeling her clinging to his barrel; grabbing fur and skin he pulled her higher, seeing her greatly unhappy eyes as she glared at him, her claws digging into the wood as she clung to the barrel as they raced downstream.

Dolraw kept her lion skin as displeased as she was to be in the water with her fur, knowing she could hold the barrel better than with cold hands. Though after several minutes of fast moving water, slamming them around in their barrels and off rocks and into each other, the current suddenly thinned and disappeared all together and their pace was greatly slowed.

"Anything behind us?" Thorin called to Balin who brought up the rear.

Dolraw knew they had momentarily outrun the orcs, though without a current that would not last for very long before they were overtaken and left helpless trying to drag their barrels forward in the still water.

"Not that I can see," Balin called back.

Bofur sat up looking about them hopefully, water pouring from the folds in his hat. "I think we've outrun them," he proclaimed.

With a growl Dolraw retracted her claws from the wood of Thorin's barrel and began swimming for the bank, seeing they were barely moving, hearing them still talking. She did not want to be in the river any longer and so she climbed onto the bank, her fur hanging soaked and dripping from her body and she shook herself trying to rid her fur of the water as much as she could.

"Make for the shore," Thorin called, finding her sitting unhappy as she licked herself dry.

It would take her a great while before she would be dry, and though it would be simpler if she changed skin she was not in the mood to be a woman – she was riled for a fight and irritable from being wet, and she wanted to be dry as a lion.

"Bind his leg quickly, you have two minutes," Thorin told his eldest nephew knowing they must move soon, and they could not have Kili slowing them. Thorin moved to stand beside the lion watching her lick her wet fur, seeing the place her tongue angrily ran over was beginning to dry – though even he knew it would take a great amount of time. "You are well?" he asked her softly, his hand brushing over her wet head glad to have her with them.

She looked up at him to see the sincerity in his eyes as he waited for a response, which she gave him in the form of licking his hand briefly before returning her tongue to her fur. She continued in this way, knowing they would be marching for the Mountain soon, knowing their hunters were not far behind, and she would need to be in her lion skin if she was to be of much use to them. Though she stilled when she heard the sound of rocks scraping together, her ears twitching at the sound of movement coming from the rocks above them – she might have taken notice sooner if the dwarves had been stumbled upon, having heard the sound of a boat banking, though the person had already been there and they had kept themselves silent as they waited for the dwarves to still. And so she only heard them now as the person moved, taking them all by surprise.

Thorin looked to the lion, seeing from the corner of his eye she had stilled, and saw her rigid as she stared at the rocks above them. A shadow fell on the ground and he turned to find a man towering over them aiming a bow at them. Dolraw watched as the man loosed an arrow, seeing it embedded in the stick Dwalin held as a weapon, and then as the man shot the stone out of Kili's hand – it was not an act of attack, but one of warning.

"Do it again and you're dead," he told them, looking to them all to see they would not arm themselves again. Though his eyes caught sight of gold beside a dwarf and he aimed his bow at the beast when he realized his mind was not tricking him, that he was truly seeing a lion.

"No," Thorin roared seeing the man's sight was set on Dolraw.

Dolraw herself had met his eye, had seen the confusion and then the shock, and then the fear, and saw his hand tighten on the arrow as he made to loose it. And so she quickly changed her skin before his hold loosened on the arrow and she looked up at him as a woman with her hands raised in surrender. And he stared baffled and amazed to find in the place of a lion now stood a woman, it was some strange enchantment; whatever it was the dwarf she stood beside moved in front of her protectively as the arrow still aimed at her chest. He lowered the bow slowly, wondering who and what this strange woman was and why she traveled with dwarves, though a voice drew his attention from her.

"Excuse me, but um, you're from Lake-town, if I'm not mistaken?" Balin said, earning himself nothing more than the sight of an arrow being aimed at him – and he too raised his hands in surrender. "That barge over there, it wouldn't be available for hire by any chance?"

He lowered his bow seeing they meant no harm, for they were weaponless and water logged and in need of aid – something he was not entirely sure he was willing to give them. Without an answer he stepped down and grabbed one of the barrels before rolling it to where his boat was docked.

"Should we help him?" Bilbo asked quietly when the man disappeared behind the rocks. The dwarves turned to him appalled at the suggestion though the hobbit, thinking the man might be more willing to help them if they did him a favor, tipped a barrel on its side and rolled it after the bargeman; leaving the dwarves little else to do save follow his suit.

Thorin turned to Dolraw knowing she would now have to stay a woman, and found her staring hard in the distance and he turned to find the shape of a large black bear a distance away. "Will you be leaving us now?" he asked remembering she'd said she would only go with them past the wood, and it seemed the bear had come to collect her.

But she only shook her head. "I believe it is him who is leaving," she told Thorin, and he could see the worry in her eyes though he did not know the cause.

"Go to him," he told her, wondering if it might be easier for the man to agree without her there to remind him of what she was.

Bard watched the woman drop to her hands and a lion begin running toward the bear, wondering if he was like her for he was a very large bear. He was proven right when she reached him a short while later, looking a yellow smudge against his dark fur before they both stood on two legs as humans. "Who is he?" he asked the others.

Thorin looked at the man harshly not willing to tell him anything, though not all of the others were of the same mind. "He is her husband," Balin replied knowing the man would want answers for why he should carry a lion woman with him.

He looked to the aged dwarf in surprise before turning back to their small forms, just barely seeing the large man reach for her. "She must care for you greatly to leave him," he remarked, something the dwarves had only just learned themselves, before turning back to the company of dwarves no more willing to take them than before.

…

Dolraw ran to Beorn, realizing he had returned the ponies home before coming back for her – probably running around Mirkwood to meet them on the other side. There were no greetings as she stopped before him, no rubbing against him or nuzzling his head, this was not a meeting of hello. "Gandalf went to Dol Guldur, will you follow him?" she asked changing skin as he did, already knowing the answer. She had brought this company to her home, she had invested herself in them – and he had always been so wary of that terribly dark place, knowing something was coming.

And as she'd known he nodded. "He will need the help," he said simply, wishing she had never left in the first place – wishing she had told the wizard no in his plea for help so that when the dwarves came to their home he could have told them no. If only she had refused Gandalf, then she would not be staring up at him so fearfully.

The place was evil, she could still remember the necromancer, remember feeling as though it were looking at them; of all the ways in which she wished to help Gandalf this was not one of them. "You will come back to me," she told him, her voice thick and her eyes swelling as she fought the panic of harm befalling him in that wretched place.

He pulled her to him knowing she was afraid for him, knowing the thoughts plaguing her mind for they troubled his own. "Do not go in that Mountain," he reminded her, clutching her to his chest as she held him, waiting for her arms to loosen around his waist before he released her. He saw the worry in her eyes, the fear and the sadness – knowing she would leave the dwarves now if it meant he would not go to the dark fortress. "When this is finished I will wed you properly," he told her softly, hearing the startled laugh escape her.

She reached for him, her hands on his face as she kissed him desperately. "I love you," she said against his mouth, barely hearing him mumble words of love in return as they kissed as though they might never again. And they very well might not, for there was still so very much left of this quest and it would call them both forward to fight.


	18. and heaven will

_Kaia: I know you said it was your opinion, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion, however there's a difference between saying what you thought about something and being rude; in words, what you said came off very rude. It might not have been what you meant, but in writing it was very unkind. About skin changer's skin being impenetrable, that's false; however I do know one place in the book the hobbit where it could seem like that might be the case. In the Battle of the Five Armies Beorn comes in and he gets a wounded Thorin and he's in such a rage that nothing was able to stop him (totally paraphrased that) - that's not saying he was unstoppable, it's more a figure of speech in a way. Because while nothing did stop him, I'm pretty sure if he was shot with an arrow then he would've been shot with an arrow it's just he was so angry and probably had a lot of adrenaline from battle that he didn't feel the pain and so he wasn't stopped by it. And Peter Jackson didn't leave any room for impenetrable skin, because the skin changers couldn't be held or tortured - all they'd have to do was change to their animal skin and nothing could stop them. So, I guess what I'm saying is that it's highly unlikely they had impenetrable skin._

* * *

Dolraw returned to the dwarves, not nearly as fast and not nearly as desperate, to find them waiting near the barge with the man watching her closely with a hand reaching for the bow he now had on his back in fear this lion might not be so friendly. Though she did no more than stop in front of them looking to Thorin for what he wished her to do; his answer was pulling out the torn material she had given him days earlier for safe keeping. She changed her skin once more and pulled on the soaken dress, looking to find the barrels all on the barge and the lot of them having waited for her; she wondered if it were Thorin who had said she would be returning to them, or if they all had wished to wait – the answer was clear in their eyes, she was apart of their Company now and they would not leave her.

"He has agreed to carry us to the town," Thorin told her quietly as they stepped onto the barge, casting a look behind him suspicious of the man. "It would be best if you remained a woman. I do not imagine the people of this town will take kindly to you."

Dolraw looked down at him amused, not worried for their safety though she did not trust this man any more than the others. "Have you forgotten there had once been a time when you were of the same mind?"

The corner of his mouth was curled as he looked up at her, seeing in her body she was not at all worried this man would harm them – nor did he believe it would happen, for the moment the bargeman made to attack the lion would lunge for his throat. It left him with a strange calmness as he stood beside her on the barge, suspicious of the man at his back but not fearful of their safety. "I never thought such things," he told her seeing a flash of her teeth as she turned away shaking her head, her eyes falling to Bilbo as he stood near the man speaking with him; they both knew it was untrue for he had been the strongest advocate against her, yet out of all the dwarves he'd grown the fondest of her.

"Watch out," Bofur cried, seeing through the mist rising from the icy water a rocky cliff only an arm's reach away from them.

Though Bard, as unconcerned as though they were merely walking around it rather than steering a boat that could splinter and send them all into the frigid water, merely steered them out of way. "What are you trying to do, drown us?" Thorin demanded harshly, having turned to find the jagged rock only inches from his face.

"I was born and bred on these waters, Master Dwarf," Bard told him. "If I wanted to drown you, I would not do it here."

If she had been a lion she would have growled at his words, which would have earned nothing more than his wariness and the redrawing of his bow. As it were she stood beside Thorin staring heavily at the man watching him closely. "I've had enough of this lippy lakeman," Dwalin growled of the same mind as Dolraw. "I saw we throw him over the side and be done with him."

She didn't quite agree with that, for she was not prone to violence unless provoked, though she did not agree with Bilbo's kindness toward the man either. "You do not like him," Thorin said softly, having watched her closely as a lion long enough to read her body.

Dolraw shook her head. "I do not fall into the habit of trusting people I do not care for," she told him.

He looked up at her curiously. "You trusted us before we gave you reason," he said, for she had protected them long before they had accepted her as an ally.

"I watched you as closely as you watched me," she admitted, having at first been wary they might take action against her. "He very well may be a good man hoping to find a few coins for his children, but if he makes to betray you in any way I will kill him."

"How do we know he won't betray us?" Dwalin asked, having been listening to her soft voice.

Thorin turned from Dolraw to Dwalin. "We don't," he answered.

She continued standing at Thorin's side, placing herself in the large space between Thorin and Bard, offering the dwarf the greatest protection she could as she faced the man, meeting his dark eyes as untrusting as her own. She did not turn when Balin said they were a few coins short, neither her nor Beorn's kin had ever had need of money – she did not fully understand it and so she hardly cared to listen. It was upon feeling Thorin still beside her that had her turning to him, and then looking to see what had caught all of their attentions; the sight of the Lonely Mountain did nothing for her, she knew nothing of it only that a dragon now lived inside it. It had never been her beacon of hope as she traveled this long journey, that had been Beorn – now it was seeing Thorin through to the end, and hopefully to see him live; which he could not very well do against a dragon. And so as easily as she looked upon it she turned away, her ears straining to hear the different sounds, the echo of the boat and oar around the ice and rocks, the faint sound of cluttered noise that she knew meant a town, and of course her eyes were never far from Bard as his were hardly from her; they're only commonality was their mistrust in each other, though he found himself quite curious of the lion woman who had invested herself in a small band of dwarves, seeing in that a nurturing kindness he would not have thought her capable.

And so as always, when she tensed Thorin turned to her, seeing the man coming toward them – hearing Bilbo clear his throat to gain the attention of the others. "The money quick, give it to me," he said looking to Thorin before up at the town just barely visible through the fog.

"We will pay you when we get our provisions, but not before," Thorin told him, not willing to lose the last of what they had in this man he did not trust.

Bard looked to him sharply. "If you value your freedom you'll do as I say. There are guards ahead."

Thorin had it in mind to refuse, for this man could still very well betray them – and he thought it all the more when he told them to get back in the barrels – but a look at Dolraw, who glanced back and forth between the man and the town ahead and he sighed. "I suppose we have little choice."

She shook her head unable to see the town, she might have as a lion but as a woman she could only she the shape of wood through the mist. "He is anxious and worried," she told him, forcing Thorin into agreement and the dwarves reluctantly climbed their way grumbling back into their barrels.

"You did not come in barrel," Bard said at seeing there was one for all of them save her, not that she would have fit in one, and so he led her to the back of the barge. "Down here, stay toward the back," he told her, watching as she got to her hands and knees and crawled beneath the platform he stood upon to row the barge.

And so she lay in a puddle of cold water out of sight in the shadow, knowing if she changed her skin as she so desperately wished to the light would glint in her eyes; and so she sat unable to hear as Bard spoke to a guard, though the moment a man moved toward the barrels she was nearly half out and half lion though Bard quickly stooped low and shoved her back, hearing her thick growl and seeing the gleam in her feline eyes knowing she was making to attack. "Do not give them away," he said hushedly, silencing her as he stood ruffling a blanket as though that was why he had been on his knees; grateful she had listened when the barrels were filled with fish and they were on their way. There was no turning back now, no leaving the dwarves on their own to figure out how to leave the town – with their lion so very bent on protecting them he knew he would have to help these dwarves until they were gone, and he severely regretted ever agreeing to it.

Dolraw sat once more a woman glaring at the man's legs, wishing to nip him roughly, though her eyes were stolen when they stopped at a toll gate. So close they had come to being sent along without problem, though they were stalled and nearly discovered when a man that reminded Dolraw so very much of a rat began questioning Bard and his barrels of fish. Though she bore Bard no love she would have come out snarling to scare this sickly man and quite possibly to wound him as he patronized him, for even then she was well aware Bard was doing them a courtesy to be aiding them. Though Bard proved quick of mind in threatening riots for dumping the fish in the lake rather than feeding the starving townspeople; and they were finally sent on their way unhindered.

She crawled from beneath the platform when they had docked and Bard had begun tipping the dwarves, until Dwalin stopped him moments before he was turned on his side, and she took the man's hand to stand and look around the poverished laketown. A foul smell filled her nose and she turned to find a greatly unhappy Thorin standing beside her covered in bits of fish.

"Follow me," Bard bid them hoping to get them in his house unseen as they moved through the town, though it appeared luck was not on his side that day.

"Da," a boy called running to him, "our house, it's being watched."

Bard turned to the lot of them knowing they had fourteen in all, quite a lot to sneak into a house that had the Master's spies watching it. With a thought in mind he motioned for them to follow him to the back of a corridor, stopping where the wood ended. "Go under the houses quietly until you reach the end, listen for a knock," he told them knowing they would not like it; and it was a great blow to their pride at knowing they could do no more than agree. Though he looked once more to the woman, seeing from her clothes she was not prepared to go into the freezing water and he turned to his son. "I know it is impossible, but say nothing until we get inside," he told him firmly and Bain nodded confused as he looked at his father.

With a curt nod from the man Dolraw pulled the top of the dress from her shoulders and then the bottom, handing them to the man before shifting her skin and waiting. Bard gave his son a firm look before wrapping the lion in the blanket and lifting her into his arms, barely heaving her inches from the ground before discovering a lion was much too heavy to carry; though after only a moment the weight seemed to disappear and he felt as though he were carrying the weight of his son to bed when he had fallen asleep downstairs. He placed the bundled lion - who had changed her skin enough that she was only half a lion to relieve some of her weight - in his son's arms, squeezing his shoulder at the sight of his shock and strain at carrying her.

"You will get her inside."

Bard turned to find Thorin looking up at him severely, his deep voice offering threat should the lion not join them whence inside the home. With a hard look of his own Bard nodded and turned away following his son to their home, hoping no one questioned what Bain was carrying. Without trouble Bain reached their home and set the lion down inside before stepping back as she shook the blanket from her, watching as she shook a still wet paw and licked her fur.

"Did da bring us a kitty?" Tilda asked excitedly as she looked at the large cat, stepping forward with a hand out and smiling at the feel of the rough tongue on her fingers.

Sigrid moved beside her younger sister, neither girl having ever seen a lion. "She's beautiful," she said rubbing her head. "Poor thing's wet, come lets get you by the fire," she cooed not knowing the lion was a woman who very much understood the words she spoke.

Bain looked at his sisters with his mouth open to tell them she was no ordinary cat, though he could not seem to make the words come for he had begun wondering if he had actually seen the woman of if he'd only imagined her. At the sight of her sitting by the fire licking her damp fur as his sisters pet and adored her, watching her turn to lick one of their faces or their hands, he could not draw to mind what the woman he thought she'd been looked like. He looked to his father baffled when he stepped into the door.

"Da, where have you been?" Tilda asked running to throw her arms around him.

Sigrid rushed to him as well, a relieved smile on her face. "There you are, I was worried."

"Da," Bain said looking toward the lion before turning back to him.

Bard looked to the lion, not happy she was in his home so near his children. "Bain, get them in," he said knowing the dwarves were waiting in the frigid water. The boy turned to his father having hoped for some explanation. "Bain," he said again, his tone not offering refusal.

With a last look to the lion Bain took the stairs down to their toilet. "Are we keeping her?"

Bard looked down at his youngest daughter confused, before he realized she was talking about the lion sitting by their fire.

"She's very sweet," she said happily. "She even licked my face."

His brows rose as he turned to the strange woman, watching as she continued licking at her fur. "Perhaps it would be better," he said trailing off as he stood holding the garments she'd given him hoping she would understand, thankful both girls were now occupied with the dwarves coming out of their toilet.

Dolraw looked up at him unhappily, wishing to remain a lion at least until her fur dried, though she changed her skin and once more pulled on the wet clothes. "What are you exactly?" he asked her, having watched mesmerized as the fur shrunk into skin and a woman stepped out.

"A skin changer," she told him, taking the blanket he offered her and wrapping it around her shoulders before sitting on the floor by the fire. "Your children are very nice."

He looked at her face fascinated by her existence, and even more the scars on her back he'd caught a glance of quite a few times. "Do you have children?"

She shook her head. "He is a bear, I don't know if we're able," she answered, turning to find an enraged Dwalin stomping soaked and disheveled up the stairs and into the home.

Tilda looked at all the dwarves amazed at their hair, some having longer hair than her or her sister – though it was wet and hanging in their faces, and their beards. She only turned away from the sight of them, as curious as she was of the short men, and turned back to the cat her father had brought home to find the place she had once been laying now filled with dwarves sitting in chairs. Though she saw a figure sitting on the floor with a mane of blonde curls and Tilda moved to stand beside her. "Are you the cat?" she asked wide eyed.

"Lion," Dolraw corrected gently, watching the girl cover her mouth with her hands as she stared at her enchanted.

And enchanted Tilda was, asking first what she was and then for her name and then if she could be any other animals. "Can we keep her now, da?" she asked her father hopefully, wondering if the woman could stay and care for them as a mother.

Dolraw looked to Bard to find him trying to think of how to say no and she spared him disappointing her. "I'm afraid I can't stay," she told the girl, watching her sweet face fall. "I have a husband to return to," she explained, knowing the excitement would appear on her face once more.

Nor was she wrong, for now Tilda began imagining her husband. "Is he a lion too?"

She smiled shaking her head. "He's a bear," she said softly watching Tilda's eyes widen as she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Why don't you help your sister and I find them some clothes, Tilda," Bard told both his daughters, for they both stood staring amazed at the woman they had first thought was a pet. With great reluctance she left Dolraw's side, promising she would come back with some tea.

Dolraw watched her go amused, having wished for a child for many years; she had never spoken of it to Beorn, for he had always seemed content with his ponies and their dogs, though she had always wished for more – a son or a daughter they could call their own.

"Where is he?" Bilbo asked her quietly, turning her attention to him. "Beorn?"

She sighed before looking to the fire, wondering if he had already reached the dark fortress or if he were inside, or if he were dead. There was not a single thought that brought her peace, for he had gone to a place so dark that peace was blackened. "He went to help your wizard," she told him, her unhappiness and unease clear in her strained voice. She looked up at him to see the concern in his eyes, him having known Gandalf had gone no place good which meant her husband had not either. "I suppose he will return home soon enough, I may or not beat him there," she said trying to ease her own mind, and she turned away again as she wondered where he stood at that exact moment.

…

Beorn stood at the same place he had years ago with Dolraw when they first stumbled upon Dol Guldur, only now he knew the evil that lay in it, and now he was planning to breach its gates. He stood quietly watching the gates open as a great many orcs marched out, seeing this was what Azog had been doing while allied with the necromancer – they'd built an army, a very great one at that. And he was suddenly very grateful to have met Dolraw when he had, and to her brains for he knew very well she was the reason they had escaped; without her he would have been killed before Azog moved his orcs from the mountains to this place, if they decided to leave another time he would have been killed and she would have been brought here to experience new horrors.

It was several moments, watching the slew of orcs march further from the fortress toward the Lonely Mountain – or so Beorn guessed – before it was almost quite once more in the woods, only the faint sound of heavy feet growing quieter and quieter. He did not doubt there were still orcs inside, not nearly so many, and possibly not many at all; but it was not the orcs he feared facing, it was the necromancer. But this was why he had come, already he had caught the scent of the wizard on the wind. And so with great reluctance he stepped forward, leaving behind the shelter of trees, as he made to enter Dol Guldur.


	19. smell like an airport

Dolraw turned from the fire at the sound of Thorin's voice, stealing her away from thoughts of Beorn. "You took our money, where are the weapons?"

With a reluctant sigh she stood, wrapping her blanket around Bilbo's still shivering shoulders, and moved to stand behind Thorin as they waited listening to them talk softly to one another; Durin's day was in two short days, they now had the impossible task of reaching the Mountain and finding the hidden door before then.

Thorin stepped back when Bard returned with a bundle, feeling the warmth of Dolraw against him as he moved out of the way of the man as he dropped the weapons on the table. She watched silently as the weapons were revealed to be nothing more than a fisherman's array of useless tools, to which the dwarves offered immediately complaint; she could not fault them for they had paid all they had for weapons and these would do nothing against a dragon save get them killed. But she could not fault the man either for she could clearly see he had nothing else to offer, and she stood in his home seeing his poverty and his children and knowing he had offered to help if only to give them a bit more.

"We paid for weapons. Iron forged swords and axes!" Gloin exclaimed angrily, insulted by what Bard had given them.

"It's a joke," Bofur said throwing what he held back onto the table; he was normally very kind, very sweet and funny, it was only in great anger that he was so callous.

With his words the others threw their useless tools on the table as well grumbling and glaring at the man. Bard looked at them having feared they would demand more, and he regretted not for the first time ever agreeing to offer them aid. "You won't find better outside the city armory. All iron forged weapons are held there under lock and key," he told them hoping to settle the matter and send them on their way and be done with them.

She watched Bard closely, closely enough she saw the recognition in his dark eyes at Thorin's name when Balin spoke it; that had been a mistake even if she agreed with Balin's request to take the weapons offered and leave. For now Bard was thinking of why he knew that name, and nothing good would come from the man should he know the company's true purpose.

"I say we leave now."

"You're not going anywhere," Bard said roughly as he folded the bundle of weapons, earning himself the surprised fury of the dwarves at the threat they thought he offered.

Dwalin stepped forward as he glared up at the man enraged, ready to grab whatever was closest and kill the man to be done with him. "What did you say?" he hissed dangerously.

"There are spies watching this house in probably every dock and wharf in the town," Bard told them, realizing the impossibility of getting them out and on their way unseen; and they were so very ungrateful leaving him little kindness to give. "We must wait til nightfall."

With little else to do the dwarves settled once more in their chairs, taking the tea the children offered them as their father paced outside. Thorin looked up at Dolraw to find her watching the door intently, and without word or reason he knew the man had gone simply from the look on her face. He remained by her side as the sun slowly sank in the sky, watching her warm smile as the youngest girl came to stand beside her. "Can you speak to other animals?" "Do you have any children of your own, and are they half lion and bear?" "Do you miss your husband?" "Why are you travelling with the dwarves?"

These were the things Tilda asked, and Thorin listened as Dolraw answered them all – taking note of the gentleness in her voice, of the affection in her voice. Motherhood would suit her well, Thorin thought to himself as he turned to tell Dwalin to make to leave.

Tilda moved away from Dolraw when the dwarf who hadn't left her side moved to stand in front her, and Dorlaw turned to look down at him. "We will take weapons and leave for the Mountain," he told her softly. They were on the last leg of their journey and she should have already left them, but he so greatly wished for her to stay.

"Then here is where I leave you," she replied just as soft, an ache in her chest at the thought of leaving them now when they would face the dragon for what hope did they truly have.

It was what he had known she would say for Beorn had voiced very clearly his refusal of her going near the Mountain, it did not make the thought of journeying without her any easier to bear. He took her hand in his own and pressed a kiss to it. "Thank you, for coming with us this far. It would have been an honor to have you continue with us even the smallest bit forward."

She nodded knowing she had no words for him, at least none that would end in her listening to Beorn – if she spoke she would cry, and if she cried then she would stay for she had bound herself to these dwarves. And she took her eyes from Thorin to look at them all behind him, seeing on their faces they knew she would not be going with them.

He stepped aside as the others bid her farewell, bowing or kissing her hand, parting with kind words of loyalty and friendship; Ori had thrown his arms around her waist, his eyes tearing and his heart breaking. He did not want to leave their lion behind, she was apart of their company, she was a friend.

Bilbo was the last to bid her goodbye and he was left unable to speak as he stared up at her, remembering her tongue on his face or the comfort of feeling her beside him as they slept – he did not think he would have made it as far as he had in the quest without her caring for him, without her warmth.

"When you make your journey home you will be very welcomed if you wished to stay for a time," she told him, smiling as he hugged her fiercely.

When Bilbo fell in line behind the last dwarf she turned once to Thorin, hearing Dwalin's gruff voice speaking some threat to Bain as he tried to keep them from leaving. She was left once more with little to say as she looked down at his face made hard by years of sadness and loss; she would have seen the quest to the end if only for him. "You will make a great king," she told him, the greatest words she could have ever given him; and she watched him take a breath at hearing them.

"What will you do now?" he asked finding he could not let her go, not without knowing exactly where she would go.

She looked at Tilda and Sigrid who stood watching the dwarves leaving with Bain frantically trying to call them back. "I will stay here until he has come and then I will return home," she answered seeing he was satisfied with it.

With a finally nod he turned from her and followed the others, casting the boy a hard look before closing the door after him; leaving behind the lion woman he had not known he had grown to care for so greatly, enough that her absence from his side was felt like a cold wind.

…

Bard found her a little while later, after he had returned home knowing exactly who Thorin was and what they planned to do, after his son had rushed out to tell him the dwarves had already gone, after the town had welcomed the dwarves after taking in Thorin's wondrous promises of riches and gold once more restoring this town. When he finally returned home and walked through his door he found his children sitting at the table and the woman giving them the stew she had prepared them.

Dolraw looked up when the door opened and saw his surprise at finding her still there and she moved around the table to meet him at the door knowing he would wish for her to leave. "Thank you," he told her taking her off guard. He was so very touched that she had stayed behind to care for his children instead of return immediately to her husband, to see they were well until he returned to his home. "You are welcome to stay for the night if you wish," he offered.

She stared at him surprised and warmed finding he was not quite so threatening now that the dwarves were gone; he was simply a man trying to do his best for his children. "I would like that very much," she replied softly.

With an uncomfortable nod he motioned her to the table to eat. He sat quietly as his children questioned her, about other lions or bears she knew, about her home – they asked her a great many questions about her home when they discovered the many animals she lived with. "She can speak to them and they can understand and talk back," Tilda told her father excitedly. He only smiled at his daughter before turning back to the woman as curious as his children of her; though he knew of what she did not speak, there was a time in her life when she had known pain, the evidence was in the scars on her back.

It was hours later, after his children had retired to their beds – though they had been greatly unhappy to – that he finally dared ask. "Are there others like you?"

She was quiet several moments before she shook her head. "Only Beorn and myself," she answered, turning to him to see he wished to ask what happened. And so with a sigh she answered. "Both our kin were killed by orcs. Some were enslaved as we had been but we were only ones who survived to escape."

It was more horrible than he had imagined, for orcs were not known for their mercy especially not to women; he knew the horrors she had faced and he was left speechless. Though before it was his turn to speak a loud knock sounded on his door.

She watched Bard answer it, not seeing who was behind the door. "No, I have paid my debt you may have nothing else," Bard said upon seeing who had come.

She stood prepared to defend the man should the need arise though a familiar gruff voice set her at ease. "I did not come for you," Thorin replied.

Bard stepped aside when he felt the woman at his back knowing she would go with him. And of course she would for she had thought they had already left. "Might I say goodbye after breakfast?" she asked him knowing Tilda's sweet heart would be broken if she didn't. He nodded knowing the same, though in all truth he did not mind her company – as fearsome as she was, she was very kind.

"We are staying for the night," Thorin said when Bard had closed the door, leaving the two to walk by torch and moonlight. "They would be glad for one more night with you."

She smiled at his stubbornness knowing she would miss him greatly. "Is it so hard for you to admit it is you who wishes it?"

"I do no such thing," he said smiling, nodding his head at those who hailed him as King under the Mountain. "A house has been given, many of the others are there."

She walked at his side feeling the stare of many eyes, a half clothed woman too tall to be natural – she knew the strangeness of herself. "And I assume those who are not are enjoying the festivities," she said making Thorin laugh briefly.

It was quiet in the house, the dwarves sleeping out of exhaustion or drunkenness – little Bilbo sleeping on a soft warm bed as he had been longing for. She listened to the familiar chorus of their loud snores wondering how she would sleep without it, though a hand on her arm had her moving further into the wooden home.

"This was to be my room," he said when he led her to the master room with the large bed – long enough to fit her height for she was as tall as a grown man. "I do not mind sharing it."

It was a moment before her mind understood what he was saying and she looked at him with wide eyes wondering exactly what he meant, until she saw him reach for a pillow and a blanket. "Do you plan to sleep on the floor?" she asked not thinking it were fair, this was to be his bed and he may never have one again.

He looked up at where she now sat at the edge of the bed and nodded. "I will not earn your husband's wrath," he answered making her laugh lightly.

"My husband was never worried of that," she told him honestly, nor did Beorn have any need to worry, not when it came to her. She waited until Thorin returned the pillow to the bed before laying back prepared to sleep; it would be many days before she would rest once more in own bed. Though sleep did not come for her or Thorin for the dawn would break and he would leave.

"Where is he?" he asked. He had seen the look on her face when Bilbo had asked, so broken and worried he knew wherever Beorn had followed Gandalf to it was no place good.

She was startled by his asking for she had been thinking of him moments before; feeling Thorin laying beside her she could almost imagine it were Beorn, almost. "A dark place that he should never have gone to, neither should Gandalf," she answered softly.

Though she did not speak it he knew there was a great possibility he might not return to her; and he recalled Beorn having spoken of the necromancer. It plagued her mind greatly, hiding behind her eyes only visible if he looked hard enough; he could see a great amount of pain in her eyes with it, the same that dwelt in Beorn's eyes as well. "Has it always been Beorn for you?" he dared ask, for he truly knew only little of her and he wished to know more. He wanted to know her, to have a reason for why he would miss her so greatly.

It was a while before she answered, long enough he turned to her wondering if she'd fallen asleep. "No," she whispered. It had been over ten years since she had spoken of her intended, and never once did she ever say his name – not even to herself. "I was meant to be married only weeks before the orcs came. He had, h-, he had trained, trained for years to be the greatest fighter in our clan. So that when I finally came of age and my suitors fought my father for my hand he was only one to actually win."

He had waited with more patience than he'd ever had in all his years, for she often paused unable to speak or could not make the words come; but after several long moments he lay beside her wondering so much more about her. "It is your custom for suitors to fight for your hand in marriage?" he asked.

"It is when you are the daughter of the clan's leader," she said finding it much easier to recall the customs she had once lived under, the tradition and rules she had followed – there were no faces, no names, and so it was easier.

"Were you the only daughter?" he asked, not seeing the importance of winning a woman's hand – not if there were a possibility for death because of it.

She smiled though unamused, knowing he did not understand the customs. "I was the daughter of our leader, he had been challenged by many strong males but he was always stronger. Therefore my children would be great, strong enough to overtake him. There will always be someone stronger than you, but a woman born with strength in her blood to pass onto your children is not as easy to find."

He understood then, or at least he thought he did – she was the most important person of her kin, at least the children she would harbor; and he understood that taking such a woman and adding a man even stronger would make for mighty descendents. "What would have happened had he not won?"

"I would have been given to whichever brother was strongest," she said simply with a shrug, though a look to Thorin's face and she knew that was an unspeakable custom.

Sometimes he forgot how inhuman she was, and the thought of a marriage being arranged between a brother and a sister was simply – wrong. To think of his own sister. "Did you ever doubt he would overtake your father?" he asked suddenly, wishing for different thoughts no matter what they were.

"No," she said quietly, trying not to recall his face to mind for it would leave her unable to speak beneath the weight of such despair. "As skin changers we mature as the way of man. He was older than me though not terribly, I had captivated him early on – he had seen the hunter I would become. Instead of taking a mate when he came of age he vowed to win my hand no matter how long it took; though he waited years for me, fighting and training, growing stronger each year until he could challenge my father; or brother, if any of mine had been able to beat our father in a fight."

He had laid silently as he listened, as he imagined this strange world more animal than man, as he drowned with her in her sadness for this world was now gone forever. He did not have to ask what would happen if a brother had beaten her father, he could well enough guess that when she'd come of age that brother would have taken her for a wife; it was an unsettling thought, a barbaric one. "Did you love him?" he asked gently knowing how hard this was for her.

She nodded as she stared at the wooden ceiling, finally allowing his memory to enter her mind. "He was," she said pausing to think of adequate word, "beautiful. He had long golden hair and green eyes. He was daring too," she said smiling brokenly. "If my father had discovered him stealing kisses from me he would have been exiled. But he'd chanced it any for he was brave and strong and kind and stubborn. And I loved him greatly."

He reached for her hand at the strain in her voice seeing now the normality of it; he had loved her and so he'd done what was needed to win her hand – it not so different than any other custom in those thoughts. And his heart ached for her as he realized the life she could have had, the children she would have born. He realized then this man had not been enslaved with her, for together they surely would have escaped and she certainly would not have left him behind; which meant Azog had killed him, and then he had taken the bride to be and made her his own. He did not dare ask if she sometimes wished the orcs had not come, for the answer was yes though he knew those days had grown fewer and fewer the more she had loved Beorn; and after losing everything he knew she locked her memories away so they could not haunt her.

"What about you, had there been a woman?" she asked wishing for something else to speak of.

He shook his head. "There might have if there'd been more time. As it were the dragon came as I was getting to know her; it might have hurt more if I had loved her but there simply hadn't been the time." They lay silently side by side for many moments as they remembered the past and all that had been lost. "May I make another request of you?" he asked rather suddenly. She turned to him curiously and nodded as she waited. "If Kili remained here until he was healed, would it be too great of a request to ask that you staid with him?"

She had wondered how Kili would continue for he could hardly stand for a few moments. "You needn't ask," she answered watching him turn to her grateful and relieved at knowing his nephew would be safe and cared for. She continued watching him as he stared ahead of him lost in thought knowing he would find little rest when dawn was only a few short hours away and with it the last day to find the door; and then of course to deal with the dragon if they did. "Are you afraid?" she asked him softly.

It was so quiet and calm, so intimate a moment with a woman who was hardly a woman; and so he was able to answer honestly. "Greatly." He turned at the feel of her moving to find her sitting as she pulled the top of her dress over her head and then slipped the bottom down the length of her legs. With a single blink she was a lion moving to lay beside him, her fur soft and warm and inviting. This was the beast he had grown so fond of, had come to know so well he could tell her thoughts by simply looking at her; this was his lion. He turned himself to lay against her, an arm around her and his face buried in her fur as he allowed her purring to lull him to sleep.

And as dawn broke the dwarves made to leave, bidding their lion once more goodbye save the four dwarves who were left behind with her; and she watched the boat Thorin was on sail away long after they had disappeared from sight.


End file.
